Madeeha Syed

Discover what to do if you're trapped in a intimate marriage. Meri Sehat provides insights and guidance for navigating challenges in marital intimacy.

Are You Trapped In A Sexless Marriage? What To Do About It

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Iqra Mazhar

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My Husband Is My Best Friend

Introduction

If you were to know that there exists a magic potion that can make you live longer, reduce your chances of developing heart disease, boost your immunity, and your overall physical and <a href="https://merisehat.pk/article/Mental%20Health">mental health</a>, would you choose to get the potion for yourself? If your answer is in affirmation, then brace yourself for the big reveal, because the magic potion is nothing but a happy marriage.

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You might be baffled as to how marriage can play such a significant role in influencing the health of an individual. But there is numerous research to support that a good and healthy marriage can result in a myriad of health benefits.&nbsp;

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Marriage is a union of two people, who have vowed to live life with one another, to face the lows and highs of life together. It is always an encouraging feeling knowing someone has your back. People who are happily married will tell you that they&rsquo;ve experienced this kind of support first hand.&nbsp;

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You are always there for your spouse, cheering and celebrating as they succeed, and holding hands silently to endure the toughest of times. And, likewise, they reciprocate or do the same. It&rsquo;s what partners do for each other in a healthy marriage.&nbsp;

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However, it&rsquo;s not all sunshine and rainbows. All marriages have a fair share of good and bad days. Some couples have more bad days, which overshadow the good ones and puts their relationship to test.&nbsp;

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Marital strain or not, a plethora of research describes all the benefits you can reap from a healthy and happy marriage.&nbsp; 
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Note: This is not to understate individuals who have dealt with or are still struggling with unsuccessful and traumatising marriages. They were obviously at a disadvantage from the start. And as a result, they have even poorer health and greater stress as compared to people who have been single, those who separated with a mutual understanding, or those who divorced themselves from an unhappy marriage.&nbsp;

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So, the point here is that one really needs to have a healthy and fulfilling marriage to be able to enjoy the health benefits of matrimony. 
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Understanding Signs And Advantages Of A Healthy Marriage

You may now be wondering what in the world is the standard of a healthy marriage? As per the Administration for Children and Families (2005) there are 2 key features that are shared by all healthy marriages<a href="#accordion">[1]</a>:

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1. A healthy marriage is complementing when it comes to both partners.

2. A healthy marriage is one where both spouses share deep respect for one another. There is mutual satisfaction in the relationship as both the husband and the wife benefit from the relationship, along with their children if they have any.&nbsp;

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Marriage is not labeled as healthy only when both partners are compatible and share similar views of the world. Even though compatibility is a determining factor of a healthy marriage, it is not the only thing.&nbsp;

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It has been observed that marriages tend to last longer when couples look beyond everyday disagreements and conflicts as it is a part of almost every relationship. Instead, they become friends, two people in a team who have to face it all together.

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According to John Gottman who has been studying married couples for years, your marriage needs to have at least 5 encouraging and positive moments of kindness and support to eliminate one moment of negativity and hurt.&nbsp;

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This makes it very easy to analyze if your marriage is healthy and, if it&rsquo;s not, you can always work on ways to improve it because you surely don&rsquo;t want to miss the wonders of a fulfilling marriage<a href="#accordion">[1]</a>.

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So, let&rsquo;s get started.

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We know you are still trying to wrap your hand around the latest revelation that (healthy) marriages have enormous health benefits. Now, we are going to show you how because it is all backed by research!

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<ul>
	<li>Less Likely To Die Of Cancer</li>
</ul>

Healthy and happy marriages boost the health of individuals. A study (published in the Journal of Clinical Oncology in 2013) was conducted on 1.3 million patients diagnosed with cancer. It revealed that of all these patients, both men and women who were married had low disease progression. They received timely treatment and had a reduced likelihood of mortality due to cancer, when compared to patients who were not married<a href="#accordion">[2]</a>.&nbsp;

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What&rsquo;s more, men had a greater edge to receive these benefits as compared to women. Additionally, the benefit of marriage was not deterred by the type of cancer the patient was diagnosed with<a href="#accordion">[2]</a>.&nbsp;

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<ul>
	<li>Have A Healthy Heart</li>
</ul>

Marriages significantly affect heart health. A 2007 study published in the Journal Psychomotor Medicine revealed that married individuals had a profoundly low risk of dying from a heart disease.&nbsp;

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After considering the age, body mass index, cholesterol level, blood pressure, and individuals&#39; lifestyle, it was observed that single men had double the odds of dying within a decade of being diagnosed with heart disease as compared to married men<a href="#accordion">[2]</a>. This depicts how the heart is able to withstand the stress if one has a happy and healthy marriage.&nbsp;

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Though, the same cannot be said about an unhealthy marriage. A study conducted in Sweden showed that women who were under marital stress were 3 times more likely to experience a second heart attack<a href="#accordion">[3]</a>.&nbsp;Another study found that individuals living with marital strain were known to have high blood pressure. Interestingly, on the other hand, a study concluded that couples living in happy marriages had thinner heart walls as compared to those individuals who lived in stressful marriages, since thick heart walls are seen in high blood pressure<a href="#accordion">[4]</a>.

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Additionally, it has been proven that individuals who experience marital bliss have reduced production of the stress hormone cortisol that weakens the immune system and promotes inflammation in the body<a href="#accordion">[5]</a>. Subsequently, low stress hormone levels and improved immunity are synchronous with reduced risk of heart disease<a href="#accordion">[3]</a>.

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A study conducted by University of Utah also revealed that unhealthy marriages had the same impact on heart health as seen with smoking or having elevated levels of bad cholesterol, implying that marital stress results in poor heart health<a href="#accordion">[6]</a>.

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It has been proven that women who are happily married are 20% less likely to die of heart disease, suicide, and cirrhosis, compared to single women<a href="#accordion">[1]</a>.

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<ul>
	<li>Reduce Stroke Risk</li>
</ul>

Being married is not enough to gain the health benefits that are linked with this association; it is necessary to cultivate a loving, supportive, and enriching relationship in order to truly experience the wonders of matrimony. In fact, an unhappy marriage does more harm than simply staying single.&nbsp;

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A study conducted by the American Heart Association in 2010 on 10,000 Israeli men found that the risk of life-threatening stroke was 64% higher in men who had unsuccessful marriages in contrast to men who had healthy marriages. This figure is proof of how unhealthy marriages can predict poor health and can increase the risk of developing fatal health conditions<a href="#accordion">[2]</a>.&nbsp;

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<ul>
	<li>Better Surgical Outcomes&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

It has been published in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior in 2012 that married individuals who underwent a surgical procedure involving the heart were more likely to survive the next 3 months post surgery as compared to their unmarried counterparts. It is believed that the element of constant care and support directed towards the patients by their spouse is the reason for increased longevity in married individuals post-heart surgery<a href="#accordion">[2]</a>.&nbsp;

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Another similar study was conducted in 2011. It found that individuals with successful marriages who went through heart surgery were 3 times more likely to be alive 15 years after the surgery, as compared to unmarried individuals who underwent the same procedure<a href="#accordion">[2]</a>.&nbsp;

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<ul>
	<li>Live Longer&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

A study in 2007 found that European men who were single and older than 40 years had a death rate twice as high compared to married men. Contrastingly, married men and women were observed to live up to the age of at least 89 years, highlighting the longevity benefits of a healthy marriage<a href="#accordion">[2]</a>.

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<ul>
	<li>Improved And Lasting Health&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

Healthy marriages result in an overall improved and better health habits. Married individuals are known to have a healthy routine such as sleeping on time, taking meals at the right time, following up on doctor&#39;s appointments, and taking care of health conditions (if any)<a href="#accordion">[5]</a>.&nbsp;

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These lasting health benefits and a positive attitude towards life stems from the constant support and empathy that spouses show one another everyday, but mostly on bad days. This support from a loved one is so encouraging that a bad day doesn&#39;t feel that bad at the end, resulting in a reduction of stress levels and consequently an improved overall health<a href="#accordion">[2]</a>.

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Moreover, happy marriages are linked with reduced incidence of depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and psychosis<a href="#accordion">[4]</a>.

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It might sound cliche, something that your mother might say to convince you for marriage, but a healthy marriage does have a positive influence on the emotional and mental health of an individual. Married people are known to be generally happier than unmarried individuals<a href="#accordion">[2]</a>.&nbsp;

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The reason for lasting happiness is linked to the fact that these individuals are handling the stressors of life as a team. Therefore, when life throws curveballs at them, they are able to dodge or deal with it better than individuals who are single.&nbsp;

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Moreover, marriages also result in better financial conditions for most people due to pooling of income. With financial stability comes better health and an improved outlook at life<a href="#accordion">[1]</a>.

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Conclusion

Marriage is a pact of living and enduring one another for a lifetime. It should be a safe harbor for both individuals, where they are able to grow to their full potential and achieve their goals in life. It should be a journey where both spouses support one another; no matter how tough the day is, they face the storm together. A healthy marriage results in enormous health benefits, which include having a healthy heart, increased longevity, reduced risk developing adverse health conditions, and an improved mental and emotional state.

Key Points

<ul><li>Healthy marriage is proportional to having a good health.</li><li>Individuals who are married enjoy significant health benefits over individuals who are single.</li><li>A healthy marriage is one where spouses live like a team and support one another at all times.</li><li>Healthy marriages are linked to reduced risk of heart diseases and stroke.</li><li>A successful marriage is associated with increased longevity and positive outlook towards life.</li><li>A happy marriage reduces incidence of depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders.&nbsp;</li><li>Individuals who are living in a healthy marriage are generally happier compared to unmarried individuals.</li></ul>

[1] A Healthy Marriage Is Good For Your Health." College of Agriculture &amp; Natural Resources.

[2] "7 health benefits of being in a happy marriage | Fox News." 10 Apr. 2017.

[3] Marriage and Lifelong Health - Healthline." 9 Nov. 2017.

[4] The Importance of Being -- Married - WebMD.

[5] "The health advantages of marriage - Harvard Health." 30 Nov. 2016.

[6] "The Health Benefits of a Marriage | University of Utah Health." 12 Nov. 2015.

Nawal Adnan

Can A Marriage Survive Infidelity And Thrive Afterwards?

Overview

Infidelity can be a devastating blow to any marriage. Trust is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and when it is broken, it can be extremely difficult to recover. Despite the challenges, however, it is possible for couples to move past infidelity and build a strong, <a href="https://merisehat.pk/article/heart-health">healthy relationship</a>.

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Recovering from Infidelity

The first step in recovering from infidelity is to acknowledge the pain and hurt that has been caused. The victim of infidelity needs time to process their emotions and to heal from the trauma of the experience. It is important to create a safe and supportive environment where they can do this, without judgment or pressure to forgive.

The culprit in the situation also has an important role to play in the healing process. They need to take responsibility for their actions and make a genuine effort to show remorse and to earn back the trust of their partner. This might involve apologizing, making amends, and taking steps to demonstrate that they are committed to the relationship.

In order for a marriage to survive after infidelity, both partners must be committed to working through the issues and rebuilding their relationship. This will likely involve honest and open communication, where both partners can discuss their feelings, fears, and expectations for the future. It is also important to address the underlying reasons for the infidelity and to take steps to prevent it from happening again in the future.

One important aspect of recovery is ensuring that the victim feels safe and secure in the relationship again. This might involve changes to the dynamics of the relationship, such as setting boundaries or establishing a greater level of transparency and accountability. It is important to listen to the victim&#39;s needs and to work together to find ways to make the relationship stronger and more secure.

As for the question of whether a marriage can last after infidelity, the answer is yes. While the road to recovery can be long and difficult, with commitment and effort, many couples are able to rebuild their relationship and create a strong and healthy future together. However, it is important to understand that each relationship is unique and that the process of recovery will look different for each couple.

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In conclusion, recovery from infidelity is possible, but it requires commitment, effort, and patience from both partners. The victim of infidelity needs to be given time to heal and the culprit needs to take responsibility for their actions and make amends. By working together and being open and honest, couples can build a strong and healthy future together.

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Umna Salah

What If Friendship, And Not Marriage, Was At The Center Of Life?

People often make their marriage the center of their lives because they view it as the most important and intimate <a href="https://merisehat.pk/article/love-in-a-long-term-relationship">relationship </a>they have. Marriage is a commitment that typically involves building a life together, sharing experiences, and supporting one another through both the good times and the bad. 
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Marriage Life

There are several reasons why people may choose to make their marriage the centre of their lives:

<ul>
	<li>Emotional Connection: For many people, their marriage is a source of emotional connection and intimacy. They feel a strong bond with their partner and view their relationship as the foundation of their emotional wellbeing. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Companionship: Marriage provides a sense of companionship and partnership that can be difficult to find in other relationships. Couples who make their marriage the centre of their lives often enjoy spending time together, sharing experiences, and supporting one another in their goals and aspirations. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Stability: Marriage can provide a sense of stability and security, particularly for those who view it as a lifelong commitment. Couples who prioritize their marriage often work to create a stable and secure home environment that fosters growth, personal development, and mutual respect. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Shared Goals: Many couples who make their marriage the centre of their lives share common goals and aspirations. They may work together to achieve financial stability, start a family, or build a life together that reflects their shared values and priorities. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Support System: Marriage can provide a strong support system for couples. They may rely on each other during difficult times, seek advice and guidance from one another, and work together to navigate life&rsquo;s challenges. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Legacy: Some couples view their marriage as a way to leave a legacy or create something meaningful together. They may work to build a life that reflects their shared values and aspirations, and view their marriage as a key part of that legacy. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

Benefits of Friendship

If friendship was the centre of life instead of marriage, it would likely look very different from the traditional model of romantic partnership that is common in many cultures. Here are some potential benefits of a life centred around friendship:

<ul>
	<li>Flexibility: Unlike marriage, which is typically a lifelong commitment, friendships are often more flexible and adaptable to changing circumstances. This can allow for more freedom and exploration in terms of one&rsquo;s personal and professional goals. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Diverse Social Network: Prioritising friendships over marriage can lead to a more diverse and varied social network, with connections across different age groups, backgrounds, and lifestyles. This can lead to greater exposure to new ideas and perspectives. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Emotional Support: Close friendships can provide a strong source of emotional support, similar to that provided by a spouse. However, this support is often more egalitarian and less reliant on traditional gender roles. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Shared Interests: Friendships are often built around shared interests and hobbies, allowing for a more enriching and fulfilling life. Friend-centred communities can offer a wide range of activities, from sports and outdoor pursuits to book clubs and intellectual pursuits. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Less Pressure: In a friend-centred life, there is likely to be less pressure to conform to societal norms around marriage and family. This can allow individuals to live more authentically and pursue the things that truly make them happy. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>More Equality: Marriage has historically been an unequal partnership, with gender roles often dictating the division of labour and decision-making. Friendships are often more egalitarian, with decisions made through mutual agreement rather than through traditional power structures. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

Bottom Line

In conclusion, a life centred around friendship instead of marriage could have many benefits, including increased flexibility, a more diverse social network, strong emotional support, shared interests, less pressure to conform, and greater equality. While there may still be challenges and obstacles to overcome, a focus on friendship could lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful life. 
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Marriage is a complex journey filled with ups and downs, and one of the most distressing challenges couples may face is the lack of physical intimacy. A sexless marriage can be emotionally taxing and lead to feelings of loneliness and frustration. In this article, we&#39;ll delve into the signs and causes of a sexless marriage and provide guidance on how to navigate this difficult terrain. 
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Trapped in a Sexless Marriage

<ul>
	<li>Declining Frequency: One of the most obvious signs is a significant decrease in sexual activity. If you find that you and your partner have gone from having a vibrant sex life to rarely engaging in intimacy, it may be time to address the issue. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Lack Of Desire: A reduced desire for physical closeness, whether due to stress, exhaustion, or other factors, can contribute to a sexless marriage. It&#39;s important to distinguish between a temporary dip in desire and a chronic issue. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Avoidance And Excuses: When one or both partners begin avoiding sexual encounters or making excuses to skip them, this can be a clear indicator of underlying problems. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Communication Breakdown: Difficulty discussing sexual needs and preferences can lead to a breakdown in communication. If you&#39;re no longer comfortable talking openly about your desires, it can exacerbate the problem. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

<ul>
	<li>Stress And Life Changes: Major life events like childbirth, job stress, or financial difficulties can take a toll on a couple&#39;s sex life. These stressors can lead to a disconnect between partners. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Health Issues: Physical or <a href="https://merisehat.pk/article/Mental%20Health">mental health</a> issues can significantly impact intimacy. Conditions like depression, anxiety, or chronic pain can decrease libido and create barriers to sexual activity. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Relationship Problems: Underlying relationship issues such as unresolved conflicts, trust issues, or emotional disconnection can contribute to a sexless marriage. When emotional intimacy wanes, physical intimacy often follows suit. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Routine And Complacency: Falling into a routine and taking each other for granted can dampen the excitement in a relationship. Couples need to invest time and effort into maintaining their connection. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

<ul>
	<li>Open And Honest Communication: Start by talking openly with your partner about your feelings and concerns. Encourage them to share their thoughts and emotions as well. Honesty is key to understanding each other&#39;s perspective. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Seek Professional Help: A sex therapist or couples counselor can provide valuable insights and strategies for rekindling intimacy. They can help identify the root causes of the issue and guide you toward solutions. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Reignite The Spark: Make an effort to bring novelty and excitement back into your relationship. Plan date nights, surprise each other with small gestures of affection, and explore new ways to connect emotionally and physically. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Address Health Concerns: If health issues are affecting your sex life, seek medical or psychological help as needed. Treatment and management can improve both physical and emotional well-being. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that physical intimacy in a marriage can ebb and flow. It&#39;s essential to have realistic expectations and be patient as you work through the challenges together. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

<h5>Reclaiming The Intimacy In Your Marriage</h5>

A sexless marriage is not a hopeless situation. It&#39;s a challenge that many couples face at some point in their journey together. By recognizing the signs, addressing the underlying causes, and actively working on your relationship, you can rekindle the flames of passion and rebuild the intimacy that brought you together in the first place. Remember, with open communication, professional guidance, and mutual effort, it is possible to break free from the confines of a sexless marriage and reestablish a fulfilling and satisfying connection with your partner.