Madeeha Syed

Learn how to establish and maintain boundaries, promote independence and autonomy, and effectively teach responsibility.

The Balancing Act Of Parenting: Setting Boundaries And Rules

This article or video has been recorded by a subject / domain specialists with a proven track record of excellence in their area. 

Parents, Not Friends

Overview

Parenting is a very complex subject. As parents, we are always doubting ourselves, but we simultaneously justify everything we do by saying that it is for their best. Implying that we know what&rsquo;s best for them.

Most parenting habits stem from experience &mdash; both our own and other&rsquo;s as well. You go about trusting your gut, but more often than not, you are influenced by everything you have experienced yourself while growing up.&nbsp;

Perhaps, you felt your parents did something wrong, like they should have been less restrictive and more trusting to let you explore the world on your own in order to make you more independent. Perhaps, you missed out on an experience like sleepovers at a friend&rsquo;s house. Your parents justified it by saying they feared for your safety, but of course, your younger self felt left out in your group and you still feel that way.&nbsp; 
&nbsp;

So, you try to make up for these insecurities by being &lsquo;less&rsquo; like your parents were and more like you always wanted them to be &mdash; a confidante. Someone who is open-minded and maybe even more like-minded. But who says your parenting style is good or even one that&rsquo;s acceptable to your child?

Besides, even if you are the &lsquo;cool&rsquo; parent, there is always one thing that you or any parent should avoid &mdash; overdoing it. We need to realize that our kids won&rsquo;t consider us their besties, ever. Period. At max, we can be very good friends and we need to respect that.&nbsp; 
&nbsp;

Parenting, a complex subject

A lot of overprotective parents tend to argue that there should not be any secrets between a parent and a child. We understand that you want to take care of your child, but there is a fine line between raising your <a href="https://merisehat.pk/article/how-does-familial-conflict-or-domestic-violence-affect-children">child </a>to become a good person and dictating them to become whoever you want them to be. If we are being honest, dictatorship does not really work &mdash; not while running countries and definitely not in parenting.&nbsp; 
&nbsp;

Think of your child as their own person before they are your offspring. They deserve as much respect as any other person in the world. We often tend to dismiss their individuality.&nbsp;

Being your child&rsquo;s friend is all fun and games until you start trying to infiltrate their actual friend circle. Getting yourself over-involved in their lives doesn&rsquo;t work. There are always things that your child would not want you to know about them.

Invading boundaries and having no regards for them often lead to kids going astray and starting to hide things from their parents. This is where the main issue lies. It often leads to the kid losing their friendship connection with their parents. You do not want your kid to be hiding things from you on purpose.&nbsp; 
&nbsp;

Bottom Line

Would you rather have your child lie to you about their whereabouts or tell them to you when they feel like it? You know the answer. We should never suffocate our children to the point that they feel the need to lie or hide things. Respect your child and their boundaries for a healthy parent-child relationship.

Umna Salah

This article or video has been vetted and verified by Meri Sehat’s specialists. It contains citations and research from validated sources.

The Teenage Nightmare

Physical Changes And Their Effects: During adolescence, children go through significant physical changes as their bodies transition into adulthood. This can be a challenging time for teens as they become more aware of their physical appearance and may experience <a href="https://merisehat.pk/disease/anxiety">anxiety </a>or self-consciousness. It&#39;s important for parents to be aware of these changes and offer support and reassurance to their teen. 
&nbsp;

Emotional Changes And Their Effects: In addition to physical changes, adolescents also experience significant emotional changes. Teens may experience heightened emotions, including mood swings, irritability, and increased sensitivity. They may also struggle with feelings of insecurity and self-doubt as they navigate the challenges of adolescence. 
&nbsp;

Psychological Changes And Their Effects: Adolescence is a time of significant psychological change as teens develop their sense of identity and begin to form more complex relationships with others. During this time, teens may experiment with different identities and values, which can lead to conflicts with parents and peers.

&nbsp;

Tips for Parents

<ol>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">&nbsp;Listen And Validate: One of the most important things parents can do to support their teen is to listen and validate their feelings. Adolescents often feel misunderstood and dismissed by adults, so it&#39;s essential to make an effort to understand their perspective and validate their experiences. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">&nbsp;Set Boundaries: While it&#39;s important to listen and validate your teen&#39;s feelings, it&#39;s also important to set boundaries and enforce rules. Adolescents need structure and guidance, so it&#39;s essential to establish clear expectations and consequences for behavior. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">&nbsp;Encourage Independence: Adolescents need space to explore their interests and develop their sense of identity. Encourage your teen to take on more responsibilities and make their own decisions, while still providing support and guidance. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">&nbsp;Foster Healthy Relationships: Adolescents need healthy relationships with their peers and adults to develop socially and emotionally. Encourage your teen to form positive relationships with peers and adults who share their interests and values. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">&nbsp;Seek Professional Help: If you&#39;re concerned about your teen&#39;s emotional or psychological well-being, don&#39;t hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide support and guidance to help your teen navigate the challenges of adolescence. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">&nbsp;Stay Engaged: It&#39;s essential to stay engaged in your teen&#39;s life, even as they become more independent. Attend school events, volunteer at their extracurricular activities, and make time to spend one-on-one time with your teen. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">&nbsp;Model Healthy Behavior: Adolescents learn by example, so it&#39;s essential to model healthy behavior for your teen. Take care of your physical and emotional well-being, and demonstrate positive communication and conflict resolution skills. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ol>

<h5>Keep In Mind</h5>

Adolescence is a time of significant change and growth, both physically and emotionally. As parents, it&#39;s important to understand the emotional and psychological changes that occur during adolescence and offer support and guidance to our teens. By listening, setting boundaries, encouraging independence, fostering healthy relationships, seeking professional help, staying engaged, and modeling healthy behavior, parents can help their teen navigate the challenges of adolescence and emerge as confident, resilient, and successful adults.

It&#39;s important to remember that adolescence is a normal and natural part of development, and it&#39;s okay for teens to experience a range of emotions and challenges during this time. By offering support and understanding, parents can help their teen navigate this transitional period with greater ease and success.

Additionally, parents should not hesitate to seek support for themselves during this time as well. Parenting a teenager can be challenging and stressful, and it&#39;s essential to take care of your own mental and emotional well-being. Seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can help parents manage their own stress and anxiety and be better equipped to support their teen.

&nbsp;

bottom Line

Understanding the emotional and psychological changes that occur during adolescence is essential for parents to support their teen during this time. By listening, setting boundaries, encouraging independence, fostering healthy relationships, seeking professional help, staying engaged, and modeling healthy behavior, parents can help their teen navigate this transitional period with greater ease and success. Remember, adolescence is a normal and natural part of development, and with support and understanding, your teen will emerge as a confident, resilient, and successful adult.

Rukhsana Rizwan

Why Taking A Break From ‘Parenting’ Makes You A Better Parent?

<a href="https://merisehat.pk/article/the-rise-of-one-and-done-parenting">Parenting</a> is an incredibly rewarding and fulfilling experience, but it can also be exhausting and overwhelming. In the midst of trying to juggle work, household responsibilities and the needs of our children, it can be easy to forget to take care of ourselves. However, taking a break from &ldquo;parenting&rdquo; can actually make us better parents in the long run. When we take a break, we allow ourselves to recharge and replenish our energy. This can help us be more present and engaged when we are with our children. We are able to respond to their needs more effectively and with greater patience and understanding.

&nbsp;

Taking a break

&nbsp;It&rsquo;s important to note that taking a break doesn&rsquo;t mean neglecting our children. Rather, it means finding ways to prioritise our own needs and well-being so that we can show up as our best selves for our children. This could mean taking a day off work, going on a weekend getaway with your partner, or simply taking a relaxing bath or reading a book in the evening after the kids are in bed. One of the benefits of taking a break is that it also helps us gain perspective. Sometimes, when we are in the thick of parenting, it can be difficult to see the forest for the trees. Taking a step back can help us re-evaluate our priorities and goals, and adjust as needed. It can also give us a chance to reflect on our parenting style and identify areas where we may want to make changes.

Taking a break also ends up benefitting your children as they learn to be more independent. Leslie Parrott, therapist and co-author of The Parent You Want to Be says, &ldquo;If parents never give their children the opportunity to experience these absences, when it is time to enter kindergarten or they are separated for some other reason they often experience extreme anxiety.&rdquo;

Of course, taking a break is easier said than done. Many of us may feel guilty or selfish for wanting to take time for ourselves. But it&#39;s important to remember that self-care is not selfish. When we take care of ourselves, we become better at taking care of others.&nbsp; 
&nbsp;

So, how can we take a break from parenting? Here are a few ideas:

<ul>
	<li>Enlist the help of a trusted friend or family member to watch the kids for a few hours or a day.</li>
	<li>Set aside time each day for a self-care activity, such as exercise, meditation or simply painting your nails.</li>
	<li>Make sure you spend time with friends who don&rsquo;t have kids as well as friends who have kids the same age as yours. The latter ones can empathize with you and the former keep you young and fresh.&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Schedule a regular date night with your partner and make arrangements for the baby sitter beforehand to avoid any last-minute cancellations.</li>
	<li>Make time for hobbies or interests that you enjoy, even if it&#39;s just for 20 minutes per day.&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

&nbsp;

Conclusion

Remember, taking a break from parenting isn&rsquo;t a luxury &mdash; it&rsquo;s a necessity. By prioritising our own well-being, we can become more patient, present and loving parents in the long run. And yes, you might get some judgments thrown your way since parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about but the toughest thing to actually undertake. So, ignore the naysayers and remember you&rsquo;re doing this not just for yourself but so that your kids can get a happy, healthy, relaxed and calm parent as well.&nbsp;

&nbsp;

Dr. Safia Mehmood

Parenting is one of the most challenging and rewarding roles a person can take on in their lifetime. From the moment a child is born, parents are tasked with guiding them through life&#39;s many challenges and helping them become responsible, independent adults. However, finding the right balance between setting boundaries and rules while also allowing for independence and autonomy can be tricky. 
&nbsp;

Setting Boundaries: Setting boundaries is an essential part of parenting. Children need structure and routine to feel safe and secure. Boundaries help children understand what is expected of them and what behaviors are acceptable. When setting boundaries, it is important to be clear and consistent.&nbsp;

Children need to know that the rules are the same every time, regardless of the circumstances. It is also important to explain the reasoning behind the rules. When children understand why they are being asked to do something, they are more likely to comply. 
&nbsp;

Rules: Rules are another essential aspect of parenting. Rules help children learn self-discipline and responsibility. They also help children understand that actions have consequences. When setting rules, it is important to involve children in the process. When children have a say in the rules, they are more likely to follow them. It is also important to be realistic about the rules. Setting rules that are too strict or unrealistic can lead to frustration and resentment.

&nbsp;

Allowing for Independence: While setting boundaries and rules are important, allowing for independence is equally important. Children need the freedom to explore their own interests and develop their own identities. When children are allowed to make choices for themselves, they learn to trust their own judgment and become more self-confident. It is important to give children age-appropriate opportunities for independence. For younger children, this may mean allowing them to choose their own clothes or pick out their own toys. For older children, this may mean allowing them to make decisions about their social lives or academic pursuits.

 
Autonomy: Autonomy is the ability to make decisions and act on them independently. It is an important aspect of healthy development. Children who have a strong sense of autonomy are more likely to be self-reliant and have a positive self-image. To encourage autonomy, it is important to give children opportunities to make decisions for themselves. This may mean letting them choose their own extracurricular activities or allowing them to decide how to spend their free time. It is also important to praise children when they make good decisions and allow them to learn from their mistakes when they make bad ones. 
 
&nbsp;

The Importance of Finding Balance

Finding the right balance between setting boundaries and rules while also allowing for independence and autonomy is essential for healthy child development. When children are given too much freedom without any rules or boundaries, they may feel lost or unsupported. Conversely, when children are given too many rules and boundaries without any autonomy, they may feel stifled or powerless. By finding the right balance, parents can help their children develop the skills and confidence they need to become responsible, independent adults. 
&nbsp;

Practical Tips

<ol>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">Involve Children In Setting Rules: When children have a say in the rules, they are more likely to follow them. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">Be Clear And Consistent When Setting Boundaries: Children need to know that the rules are the same every time, regardless of the circumstances. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">Explain The Reasoning Behind The Rules: When children understand why they are being asked to do something, they are more likely to comply. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">Give Age-appropriate Opportunities For Independence: For younger children, this may mean letting them choose what to wear or what to eat for breakfast. For older children, it may mean allowing them to make decisions about their social lives or academic pursuits. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">Praise Good Decisions: When children make good decisions, it is important to acknowledge and praise them. This reinforces positive behavior and encourages them to continue making good decisions. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">Allow Children To Learn From Their Mistakes: Children are bound to make mistakes, and it is important to allow them to learn from them. When children are allowed to make mistakes and learn from them, they develop resilience and problem-solving skills. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">Be Flexible: Parenting is not a one-size-fits-all approach. What works for one child may not work for another. It is important to be flexible and adapt your parenting style to your child&#39;s individual needs. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ol>

Parenting is a complex and challenging role, but setting boundaries and rules while allowing for independence and autonomy is essential for healthy child development. By finding the right balance, parents can help their children become responsible, independent adults. Remember to involve children in setting rules, be clear and consistent when setting boundaries, give age-appropriate opportunities for independence, praise good decisions, allow children to learn from their mistakes, and be flexible in your approach. With these practical tips, you can successfully navigate the balancing act of parenting.