Madeeha Syed

Enhance communication skills, resolve conflicts, practice active listening, find common ground  and effectively deal with anger.

How To Address And Manage Conflict And Arguments With Your Teenager

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How To Talk About The Effects Of Online Porn With Your Teenager

Overview

Pornography has become quite commonplace and easily accessible in this day and age. If your child has access to the internet then it&rsquo;s inevitable that they&rsquo;ll either run into some pornographic material or will be the ones to look it up given their naturally curious natures. 

It&rsquo;s essential that as parent we get ahead of these matters in order to avoid any negative consequences down the line. There are certain actions that can be taken in order to ensure that your child doesn&rsquo;t accidently encounter these things such as putting a child lock and limiting access to certain contents on your devices but these can only go so far. 

Hence, it&rsquo;s more and more important that we have the &ldquo;porn talk&rdquo; with our children at the right time even though this discussion will definitely not be the easiest or most comfortable for either of you. 
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The Effects Of Online Porn

Conclusion

A methodical approach to this crucial talk can look like this: 
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<ul>
	<li>Discuss how sexual exploration is a normal and healthy part of their development, however the portrayal we see in pornography isn&rsquo;t either of these things. It&rsquo;s quite dangerous for this depiction to be their first encounter with sex and intimacy. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Educate them about the importance of safe and responsible sex and let them know that if they see anything disturbing they can always come to you about their confusions and questions. This needs to be a part of a larger discussion around sex and sexuality. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>You can start by normalising healthy exchanges of affection and love such as parents sharing a kiss or a hug and by talking about sex in a simple and direct way without making it sound like it&rsquo;s something evil. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>You don&rsquo;t have to worry about having to navigate such a conversation all on your own. There are various tools out there that talk about sex and sexuality and every single aspect of it in age-appropriate language. Exposing your children to this material can help them be more informed and make them feel safe around such discussions. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Talk about what pornography is, this may include letting them know that adults sometimes share grown-up pictures or media online and how these things are portrayed isn&rsquo;t what real life sex looks or feels like. This also helps ensure that their expectations around their own first encounters aren&rsquo;t skewed by pornography. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Another important aspect of pornography you must discuss is body image. Discuss how bodies depicted in these scenes aren&rsquo;t what real bodies look like. This helps the child feel okay with their own bodies and can ward of any body image issues they might be having. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>A lot of pornographic material blurs the lines around consent and boundaries. Make your child aware of this and discuss how this is a wrongful practice. It&rsquo;s crucial that the child understands how it&rsquo;s never okay to emulate or accept this in real life. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>It&rsquo;s also necessary to normalise sexual expression and make the child understand that their potentially positive reactions to pornographic material are normal. The factor of shame and dirtiness needs to be eliminated in these discussions since that might lead to the child keeping secrets from you regarding their activities. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Include safe sex practices in your discussion as well such as the use of condoms, proper lubrication and other forms of birth control. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>And last but not the least, ensure your child feels safe to share any information with you. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

Dr. Safia Mehmood

Conflict and arguments are an inevitable part of parenting, especially during the teenage years when adolescents assert their independence and test boundaries the most. Effectively addressing and managing these conflicts is crucial for maintaining a healthy parent-child relationship and promoting positive communication. Here are some practical strategies and techniques to navigate conflicts and arguments with your teenager, fostering understanding, mutual respect and resolution.

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Addressing Conflict with Teenager

Active Listening &ndash; One of the fundamental principles of conflict resolution is active listening. When engaging in a conversation with your teenager, give them your undivided attention. Show empathy, maintain eye contact and genuinely listen to their perspective. Avoid interrupting or jumping to conclusions as this can escalate tensions and hinder effective communication. By truly hearing their thoughts and feelings, you demonstrate respect and validate their experiences. 
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Stay Calm And Control Emotions &ndash; Emotional reactions can exacerbate conflicts and hinder productive discussions. It is important for parents to remain calm and composed during disagreements with their teenager. Take deep breaths, count to ten if necessary, and remind yourself to respond rather than react impulsively. By managing your emotions, you model self-control and create a safe space for open dialogue. 
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Use &quot;I&quot; Statements &ndash; When expressing your concerns or viewpoints, utilize &quot;I&quot; statements instead of accusatory language. For example, say, &quot;I feel frustrated when chores are left unfinished&quot; rather than &quot;You never do your chores!&quot; This approach shifts the focus to your feelings and promotes a non-confrontational atmosphere, encouraging your teenager to express their thoughts without feeling attacked. 
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Seek Common Ground &ndash; Finding common ground is essential to resolve conflicts. Identify shared interests or goals, emphasizing the areas where you and your teenager align rather than focusing solely on disagreements. This commonality helps to build a foundation of understanding and cooperation, enabling both parties to work together towards a solution. 
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Practice Problem-Solving &ndash; Encourage your teenager to actively participate in problem-solving. Instead of imposing your solutions, engage them in brainstorming alternatives and discussing potential consequences. By involving them in the decision-making process, you empower them to take ownership of their actions and learn valuable problem-solving skills. 
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Set Clear Boundaries And Expectations &ndash; Establishing clear boundaries and expectations is crucial for preventing conflicts from arising in the first place. Communicate your expectations regarding behavior, responsibilities and curfews, ensuring that they are reasonable and age-appropriate. When both you and your teenager have a shared understanding of the boundaries, it minimizes misunderstandings and reduces the likelihood of arguments. 
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Choose The Right Time And Place &ndash; Timing and environment play significant roles in conflict resolution. Select an appropriate time and place for discussions, ensuring privacy and minimal distractions. Avoid addressing sensitive topics when either party is exhausted or preoccupied, as it can hinder effective communication and escalate conflicts further. By choosing the right setting, you create an atmosphere conducive to open dialogue and understanding. 
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Teach And Model Healthy Conflict Resolution &ndash; Parents serve as role models for their teenagers. Show them how to handle conflicts constructively by modeling healthy conflict resolution techniques. Demonstrate effective communication, compromise and empathy in your interactions with others. Your teenager will observe and learn from your behavior, shaping their own approach to resolving conflicts. 
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Foster Emotional Intelligence &ndash; Promote emotional intelligence in your teenager by helping them recognize and manage their emotions effectively. Encourage them to express their feelings in a healthy manner and provide guidance on coping mechanisms such as deep breathing, journaling, or engaging in <a href="https://merisehat.pk/article/how-exercise-can-keep-you-young">physical activities</a>. Emotional intelligence equips teenagers with the skills necessary to navigate conflicts and arguments with greater empathy and understanding. 
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Seek Professional Help If Needed &ndash; Sometimes, conflicts between parents and teenagers may persist or escalate despite best efforts. In such cases, it can be beneficial to seek the assistance of a professional counselor or therapist who specializes in family dynamics. A neutral third party can provide guidance, facilitate communication, and offer strategies tailored to your specific situation. 
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bottom Line

Conflict and arguments with your teenager are an inevitable part of parenting, but they can also be opportunities for growth and understanding. By employing these strategies, you as a parent can navigate conflicts with your teenager in a way that promotes understanding, strengthens relationships and prepares them well for future challenges.