Madeeha Syed

How To Do Shame-proof Parenting

This article or video has been viewed by many visitors, and is popular.

This article or video has been recorded by a subject / domain specialists with a proven track record of excellence in their area. 

Parents, Not Friends

Overview

Parenting is a very complex subject. As parents, we are always doubting ourselves, but we simultaneously justify everything we do by saying that it is for their best. Implying that we know what&rsquo;s best for them.

Most parenting habits stem from experience &mdash; both our own and other&rsquo;s as well. You go about trusting your gut, but more often than not, you are influenced by everything you have experienced yourself while growing up.&nbsp;

Perhaps, you felt your parents did something wrong, like they should have been less restrictive and more trusting to let you explore the world on your own in order to make you more independent. Perhaps, you missed out on an experience like sleepovers at a friend&rsquo;s house. Your parents justified it by saying they feared for your safety, but of course, your younger self felt left out in your group and you still feel that way.&nbsp; 
&nbsp;

So, you try to make up for these insecurities by being &lsquo;less&rsquo; like your parents were and more like you always wanted them to be &mdash; a confidante. Someone who is open-minded and maybe even more like-minded. But who says your parenting style is good or even one that&rsquo;s acceptable to your child?

Besides, even if you are the &lsquo;cool&rsquo; parent, there is always one thing that you or any parent should avoid &mdash; overdoing it. We need to realize that our kids won&rsquo;t consider us their besties, ever. Period. At max, we can be very good friends and we need to respect that.&nbsp; 
&nbsp;

Parenting, a complex subject

A lot of overprotective parents tend to argue that there should not be any secrets between a parent and a child. We understand that you want to take care of your child, but there is a fine line between raising your <a href="https://merisehat.pk/article/how-does-familial-conflict-or-domestic-violence-affect-children">child </a>to become a good person and dictating them to become whoever you want them to be. If we are being honest, dictatorship does not really work &mdash; not while running countries and definitely not in parenting.&nbsp; 
&nbsp;

Think of your child as their own person before they are your offspring. They deserve as much respect as any other person in the world. We often tend to dismiss their individuality.&nbsp;

Being your child&rsquo;s friend is all fun and games until you start trying to infiltrate their actual friend circle. Getting yourself over-involved in their lives doesn&rsquo;t work. There are always things that your child would not want you to know about them.

Invading boundaries and having no regards for them often lead to kids going astray and starting to hide things from their parents. This is where the main issue lies. It often leads to the kid losing their friendship connection with their parents. You do not want your kid to be hiding things from you on purpose.&nbsp; 
&nbsp;

Bottom Line

Would you rather have your child lie to you about their whereabouts or tell them to you when they feel like it? You know the answer. We should never suffocate our children to the point that they feel the need to lie or hide things. Respect your child and their boundaries for a healthy parent-child relationship.

Umna Salah

Non-Violent Parenting: How To Teach Your Children About Boundaries

In the last decade, parenting styles have evolved quite a lot ever since the detrimental effects of an aggressive approach have been revealed. Nowadays, people who previously chose to inherit or model their parenting according to what they went through, are looking for better ways to raise their children.&nbsp;

Many parents now choose &lsquo;soft&rsquo; parenting or &lsquo;gentle&rsquo; parenting which encourages a partnership between the parent and the child instead of the authoritarian approach adopted by previous generations.&nbsp;

This parenting style requires the parent to look at their child as a whole being, have more compassion for their behaviours and welcomes emotional expression. We now know that in order to raise happy, healthy and well-rounded adults, our approach to <a href="https://merisehat.pk/article/how-to-do-shame-proof-parenting">parenting </a>needs a complete overhaul. 
&nbsp;

Non-violent parenting

This is great for the parents as well since healthier ways of disciplining children calls for adults who are also emotionally well-regulated. So, it&rsquo;s essentially a win-win situation. Does this mean we can&rsquo;t discipline our <a href="https://merisehat.pk/article/healthier-ways-of-disciplining-children">children </a>anymore and let them do whatever they want? Certainly not!&nbsp;

You can still go ahead and teach your child boundaries and have a set of rules in place, you can still ground them and give them time outs. How do you do that without turning into a dictator?&nbsp; 
&nbsp;

Here&rsquo;s how:&nbsp;

<ul>
	<li dir="ltr">
	Show them by example what model behaviour looks like. Children are sharp observers and everything they do, they learn it by watching you. If your behaviour is calm and collected, especially in tough situations, it&rsquo;s likely that your child will learn to keep their cool as well.&nbsp;
	</li>
	<li dir="ltr">
	Set clear and concise boundaries and communicate them in a way the child understands. For example, if they aren&rsquo;t allowed to eat candy before bedtime, let them know how it can affect their sleep and overall health. Let them know that rules are there for their own safety.&nbsp;
	</li>
	<li dir="ltr">
	Ensure that your child is aware of the consequences as well if they don&rsquo;t follow the rules. Consequences can be something like taking away their iPad or time in front of the TV for breaking boundaries. It&rsquo;s important to follow through with this as well. However, it&rsquo;s important to remember that these punishments aren&rsquo;t grave such as being denied meals or kind parental attention.
	</li>
	<li dir="ltr">
	Instead of giving commands, invite them to work with you. For example, if you&rsquo;d like them to put their toys away, instead of saying, &ldquo;Put these back in their boxes&rdquo; you can say, &ldquo;Should we put these toys back so no one trips over them?&rdquo; This teaches kids responsibility.&nbsp;
	</li>
	<li dir="ltr">
	If your usually well-behaved child has been breaking certain rules or acting out then instead of becoming accusatory, try to assess what might be bothering them. For example, fight between siblings can stem from jealousy and has nothing to do with how good or bad the child is. Gently ask them what&rsquo;s bothering them and once they let you know you can find the solution together.
	</li>
	<li dir="ltr">
	When your child does exhibit good behaviour make sure to praise them for it since this is one of the fastest ways to ensure they continue to behave well. Children like to please their parents and garner their approval!
	</li>
	<li dir="ltr">
	Keep your child engaged throughout the day with healthy activities be it sports, reading or learning how to paint. Boredom is usually one of the main reasons why kids get into trouble and this way you can avoid that.&nbsp;
	</li>
	<li dir="ltr">
	Time-outs can be a super effective disciplining tool as well. A good rule of thumb is one minute per year of age. Ask the child to take a time-out from the situation at hand, ponder over their actions and find healthier alternatives to their behaviour. All the modelling you have been doing so far can now be implemented by the child. 
	&nbsp;
	</li>
</ul>

Children are smart and they pick up on things very fast. If a parent is antagonistic and violent towards them they will learn that rules are suffocating and boundaries are meant to be broken.&nbsp;

However, they do require you, as a parent, to put in place certain rules so they can become healthy and well-adjusted adults. Having a gentle and gracious approach to disciplining children lets the child know that you have their best interest at heart and that you&rsquo;re a secure place they can always return to for guidance.

Dr. Safia Mehmood

The Rise Of “One And Done” Parenting

In recent years, there has been a rise in &quot;one and done&quot; <a href="https://merisehat.pk/wellness/parenthood">parenting</a>, where couples choose to have only one child. This decision can be influenced by a variety of factors, including financial concerns, lifestyle preferences, and environmental concerns.

This article will explore the reasons for the rise of &quot;one and done&quot; parenting and its potential impacts on families and society. 
&nbsp;

Parenting Impact

<ol>
	<li>&nbsp;Financial Considerations: One of the primary reasons for the rise of &quot;one and done&quot; parenting is financial considerations. Raising a child can be expensive, with costs including childcare, education, healthcare, and basic needs such as food and clothing. For many families, having only one child can be a more feasible option financially. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ol>

<ol start="2">
	<li>&nbsp;Lifestyle Preferences: Another reason for the rise of &quot;one and done&quot; parenting is lifestyle preferences. Many couples prioritize their careers, travel, or hobbies, and having only one child can provide them with the flexibility and freedom to pursue these interests without the added responsibilities of raising multiple children. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ol>

<ol start="3">
	<li>&nbsp;Environmental Concerns: Environmental concerns are also a factor in the decision to have only one child. With growing concerns about climate change and overpopulation, some couples choose to have only one child to reduce their carbon footprint and impact on the environment. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ol>

<ol start="4">
	<li>&nbsp;Impact On Families: While &quot;one and done&quot; parenting can provide financial stability and lifestyle flexibility, it can also have an impact on families. Only children may miss out on the social and emotional benefits of having siblings, such as learning to share and compromise, and having a built-in support system. Parents of only children may also face additional pressure to provide their child with social opportunities and companionship. 
	However, research suggests that only children can also have unique advantages, such as higher academic achievement and closer relationships with their parents.</li>
</ol>

&nbsp;

<ol start="5">
	<li>&nbsp;Impact On Society: The rise of &quot;one and done&quot; parenting can also have an impact on society as a whole. With fewer children being born, there may be a decrease in demand for products and services related to child-rearing, such as baby products and education-related services. Additionally, with an aging population and fewer children to support them, there may be strains on social security and healthcare systems. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ol>

Conclusion

The rise of &quot;one and done&quot; parenting can be attributed to a variety of factors, including financial considerations, lifestyle preferences, and environmental concerns. While having only one child can provide families with financial stability and lifestyle flexibility, it can also have impacts on families and society. Ultimately, the decision to have only one child is a personal one, and couples should consider their own values, goals, and circumstances when making this decision. 
&nbsp;

Rukhsana Rizwan

Mom, Where Do Babies Really Come From?

Most of us learned about the &lsquo;birds and the bees&rsquo; through either our friends or the internet. Both of these aren&rsquo;t always the safest option to obtain comprehensive information from and sometimes we learned more than we needed to. 

As parents, we should be having this talk with our kids and should be our child&rsquo;s first exposure to the ideas of sex and sexuality. Most parents are tempted to delay it until the child hits puberty while they dread the awkwardness of it. Its better, however, to introduce your kids to the &lsquo;sex talk&rsquo; early on so they can make healthy and informed choices. We live in an age when any information they seek is at the tips of their fingers and if you&rsquo;re not the one guiding them through this, then the internet will &mdash; and that&rsquo;s not always the healthiest choice. 
&nbsp;

You should answer whatever queries they have but you also don&rsquo;t have to tell them everything in a single conversation. The discussion can evolve as the child grows older based on the needs and questions of the child. 

A few basic things you should cover is discussion about normal human anatomy, how sex and reproduction work, issues of consent, how to have safe sex and options in the case of any mishaps such as STIs or unintended pregnancies. 
&nbsp;

Some Things to Keep in Mind

Some Things to Keep in Mind are: 
&nbsp;

<ul>
	<li>How soon is too soon? Even as toddlers, some children touch their private parts as they have a natural curiosity about their body. This isn&rsquo;t sexual at all; however, you can let the child know that these are private parts and such behaviour should not be done in public. </li>
	<li>There&rsquo;s also no need to scold or punish the child as that will lead to a lot of shame around the topic. Even more so, you can put your child at ease by admitting that even you feel embarrassed talking about these things but it&rsquo;s something that&rsquo;s essential for their own safety. </li>
	<li>However, make sure your child doesn&rsquo;t get the impression that you think certain body parts are dirty or some functions are inherently gross. You can achieve this by keeping a neutral and positive tone. </li>
	<li>Your child will most probably have a lot of question that can range from &ldquo;where do babies come from?&rdquo; to &ldquo;When will my breasts get bigger?&rdquo;. Try to answer these questions in a straightforward manner without making the child feel stupid for asking them. It&rsquo;s essential to leave out teasing, blaming or belittling behaviour out of these conversations. &nbsp;</li>
	<li>Be respectful of the child&rsquo;s wishes. Let them know that even though this conversation is important, if they feel uncomfortable they can opt for another time to conduct it. Also, choose a private area to talk, respect their desire to only talk to one parent, for example a girl child might prefer talking to her mom alone. </li>
	<li>Offer resources such as websites and books that can guide them further about these things. But at the same time if they want any further clarifications let them know you&rsquo;re available for it. </li>
	<li>Discuss puberty and the changes they should be expecting in their bodies, discuss what they should expect from a safe partner or spouse for their first sexual experience, discuss how using protection is essential in order to avoid unwanted pregnancies and STDs. </li>
	<li>Above all, be clear that nothing matters more to you than their safety and wellbeing and that they can come to you if something has gone awry. Your ultimate goal is to instil confidence and knowledge in your child about their growing bodies and what they&rsquo;re capable of without a fear-based approach to sex. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

This article or video has been vetted and verified by Meri Sehat’s specialists. It contains citations and research from validated sources.

Understanding Your Parenting Style

Parenting is one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences that a person can undertake. Every parent has a unique parenting style that influences how they interact with their child and guide their development. There are several different styles of parenting, each with its own benefits and risks. In this article, we will discuss two common parenting styles: authoritative and permissive parenting. 
&nbsp;

Different Parenting Styles

<h5>Authoritative Parenting</h5>

Authoritative parenting is a style of parenting that is characterized by high expectations, warmth, and responsiveness. Parents who use this style set clear rules and boundaries, but also allow their child to have input and make decisions. They provide guidance and support, but also encourage their child to be independent and self-sufficient. This parenting style is often seen as the ideal approach to parenting, as it has been associated with numerous benefits.

&nbsp;

<h5>Benefits Of Authoritative Parenting</h5>

Children who are raised by authoritative parents tend to be more confident, responsible, and independent. They are better able to regulate their emotions and behavior, and are less likely to engage in risky behaviors such as drug use and delinquency. They also tend to perform better academically and have higher self-esteem.

One of the key benefits of authoritative parenting is that it fosters a positive parent-child relationship. By providing warmth, support, and guidance, parents can create a strong bond with their child that can help them navigate the challenges of adolescence and beyond.

&nbsp;

<h5>Risks Of Authoritative Parenting</h5>

While authoritative parenting is associated with numerous benefits, there are some potential risks to consider. One risk is that parents may be too focused on achieving high standards, which can put pressure on their child to perform. This can lead to feelings of <a href="https://merisehat.pk/disease/stress">stress </a>and <a href="https://merisehat.pk/disease/anxiety">anxiety</a>, particularly if the child is struggling to meet their parents&#39; expectations.

Another risk is that children who are raised by authoritative parents may struggle with autonomy and decision-making. While these parents allow their child to have input and make decisions, they may still have high expectations and be hesitant to let their child make mistakes. This can limit the child&#39;s ability to learn from their experiences and develop independence.

&nbsp;

<h5>Permissive Parenting</h5>

Permissive parenting is a style of parenting that is characterized by low expectations, warmth, and responsiveness. Parents who use this style are lenient and do not set clear rules or boundaries. They may avoid confrontation and prioritize their child&#39;s happiness over discipline. While this approach may seem appealing to some parents, there are risks associated with permissive parenting.

&nbsp;

<h5>Benefits Of Permissive Parenting</h5>

One of the benefits of permissive parenting is that it fosters a warm and nurturing relationship between the parent and child. Children who are raised by permissive parents may feel more comfortable expressing their emotions and needs, and may have a greater sense of autonomy.

Another benefit of permissive parenting is that it can promote creativity and independent thinking. Children who are not restricted by rules and boundaries may be more likely to explore and try new things.

<h5>&nbsp;</h5>

<h5>Risks Of Permissive Parenting</h5>

While permissive parenting may have some benefits, it also has several potential risks. One risk is that children may struggle with self-regulation and discipline. Without clear rules and boundaries, children may not learn how to control their behavior or make responsible decisions. This can lead to problems such as poor academic performance, substance abuse, and delinquency.

Another risk of permissive parenting is that children may struggle with social skills and relationships. Without clear guidance from their parents, children may struggle to understand social norms and may have difficulty forming healthy relationships with peers and adults.

&nbsp;

bottom Line

Parenting is a complex and challenging task that requires parents to balance the needs of their child with their own values and beliefs. Authoritative and permissive parenting are two common styles of parenting that each have their own benefits and risks. While authoritative parenting is associated with numerous benefits such as confidence, responsibility, and independence, permissive parenting is associated with warmth and creativity, but can lead to issues with discipline and social skills.

It&#39;s important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Every child is unique, and what works for one child may not work for another. It&#39;s important for parents to be flexible and adapt their parenting style to meet their child&#39;s needs and temperament.

It&#39;s also important to remember that parenting is not a static process. As children grow and develop, parents will need to adjust their parenting style to meet their child&#39;s changing needs. This may require parents to be more authoritative in some areas and more permissive in others.

Ultimately, the goal of parenting is to help children grow into happy, healthy, and successful adults. By providing guidance, support, and structure, parents can help their child navigate the challenges of childhood and adolescence and prepare them for the future. While there are risks associated with different parenting styles, by staying engaged and involved in their child&#39;s life, parents can help ensure that their child reaches their full potential. 
 
&nbsp;

How To Parent A Teenager

As children transition into adolescence, they often experience significant changes in their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. It is during this time that communication with teenagers becomes more important than ever. Effective communication can help maintain a positive relationship between parents and teenagers, while ineffective communication can lead to misunderstandings, conflict, and a breakdown in the relationship. In this article, we will discuss tips for parents on how to communicate effectively with their teenager and maintain a positive relationship.

&nbsp;

positive relationship with your teen

<ol>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">Listen Actively: One of the most important things parents can do to communicate effectively with their teenager is to actively listen to them. Active listening involves giving your full attention to your teenager when they are speaking and trying to understand their perspective. This means not interrupting them or dismissing their feelings, but instead allowing them to express themselves freely. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">Use &quot;I&quot; Statements: Using &quot;I&quot; statements is another effective way to communicate with your teenager. Instead of using accusatory or blaming language, using &quot;I&quot; statements allows parents to express their feelings and concerns without putting their teenager on the defensive. For example, saying &quot;I feel hurt when you speak to me that way&quot; is more effective than saying &quot;You are always disrespectful.&quot; 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">Be Honest: Honesty is essential in any relationship, including the one between parents and teenagers. It&#39;s important to be honest with your teenager about your expectations, concerns, and feelings. However, it&#39;s equally important to do so in a way that is respectful and constructive. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">Respect Their Opinions: Teenagers are going through a period of growth and exploration, and they may have different opinions and perspectives than their parents. It&#39;s important for parents to respect their teenager&#39;s opinions, even if they don&#39;t agree with them. This helps build trust and encourages open communication. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">Be Aware Of Nonverbal Cues: Nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions and body language, can be just as important as the words we say. It&#39;s important to be aware of your own nonverbal cues and how they may be perceived by your teenager. Similarly, it&#39;s important to pay attention to your teenager&#39;s nonverbal cues to better understand their emotions and feelings. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">Avoid Judgment And Criticism: Teenagers can be sensitive to criticism and judgment, so it&#39;s important for parents to avoid using this type of language in their communication. Instead, focus on constructive feedback that can help your teenager learn and grow. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">Keep Lines Of Communication Open: It&#39;s important to keep lines of communication open between parents and teenagers, even when things get difficult. This means making an effort to communicate regularly, even if it&#39;s just a brief check-in. It also means being available and responsive when your teenager needs to talk. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">Use Humor: Humor can be an effective way to diffuse tension and build a positive relationship between parents and teenagers. Using humor can help create a relaxed and comfortable environment that encourages open communication. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal"><a href="https://merisehat.pk/article/the-balancing-act-of-parenting-setting-boundaries-and-rules">Set Boundaries</a>: While it&#39;s important to maintain open communication with your teenager, it&#39;s also important to set boundaries. This means establishing clear expectations and consequences for behavior, and enforcing them consistently. Boundaries can help your teenager understand what is expected of them and feel secure in their relationship with you. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li style="list-style-type:decimal">Seek Professional Help If Needed: If you&#39;re struggling to communicate effectively with your teenager or if there are other issues impacting your relationship, don&#39;t hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide support and guidance to help you navigate the challenges of parenting a teenager and maintain a positive relationship. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ol>

Effective communication is essential for maintaining a positive relationship between parents and teenagers. By listening actively, using &quot;I&quot; statements, being honest, respecting opinions, being aware of nonverbal cues, avoiding judgment and criticism, keeping lines of communication open, using humor, setting boundaries, and seeking professional help when needed, parents can build a strong and positive relationship with their teenager.

Effective communication with your teenager is not always easy, but it is worth the effort. By following the tips outlined in this article, parents can foster a relationship with their teenager that is based on trust, respect, and open communication. Remember, adolescence is a time of significant change, and it&#39;s important for parents to be patient, understanding, and supportive as their teenager navigates these changes. By working together, parents and teenagers can build a relationship that lasts a lifetime.

As parents, we all want the best for our children, but sometimes our best intentions can lead to inadvertently shaming them. Parenting is hard enough without having to worry about unintentionally causing our children to feel ashamed of themselves.

Shame-proof parenting

Shaming children simply ensures that they never internalise good values and lessons so when they do behave well, they do it simply out of a desire to stay out of trouble. This means when they know trouble won&rsquo;t be around, they&rsquo;ll revert back to misbehaving. This way, all of your effort is lost as it has no lasting impact on the child. It also fails to teach empathy to children since shame reverts all their focus inside which means their capacity to feel for others is significantly diminished.&nbsp;

Similarly, the powerlessness they feel when shamed may also find its expression in unacceptable behaviour where they seek to exert their power on those that are weaker than them. Yes, we are talking about bullying! It teaches them that criticism, judgment and self-righteousness are correct ways of behaving and this causes trouble later in life when they fail to form meaningful connections due to their approach towards other people. They don&rsquo;t have any accountability and will also hide things from you, especially when they are in serious trouble.&nbsp;

My friend was raised by a mother who used shaming as the primary tool of behaviour correction. She grew up to be extremely judgmental and usually had no room when it came to mistakes of other people. This encourages people to usually have a less than affectionate and empathetic approach towards her as well. So, in this scenario, no one came out winning. This is how insidious shame is. That&rsquo;s why it&rsquo;s important to practice shame-proof parenting, which focuses on promoting a positive, accepting, and non-judgmental approach.

&nbsp;

Here are some tips to help you practice shame-proof parenting:

<ul>
	<li>Focus on the behaviour and not the child. When children misbehave, it&rsquo;s important to focus on their behaviour and not the child as a person. Instead of saying, &ldquo;You&rsquo;re a bad kid,&rdquo; say, &ldquo;What you did was not okay.&rdquo; This helps children understand that they are not inherently bad or flawed, but that their actions have consequences. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

<ul>
	<li>Children thrive on positive reinforcement, so be sure to praise them when they do something right. Rather than only pointing out their mistakes, celebrate their successes, and give them the confidence they need to continue to make good choices. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Avoid comparing your child to other kids, whether it&rsquo;s their siblings, friends, or classmates. This can be damaging to their self-esteem and start an eternal dialogue in their heads where they are always competing with others even in close intimate relationships. Instead, focus on your child&rsquo;s unique qualities and strengths and praise them for it. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Try to put yourself in your child&rsquo;s shoes and understand their perspective. This can help you better communicate with them and avoid inadvertently shaming them. When your child is upset or struggling, practice empathy and show them that you understand how they feel and that their emotions are valid. For example, when they don&rsquo;t like the taste of a certain medication or syrup, saying &ldquo;I know how bad it must taste but this is important for your health&rdquo; can go a long way in validating the child. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Be open and honest with your child. Cultivate trust and openness by talking about difficult or sensitive topics, such as sex, drugs, or mental health, in an open and honest way. This can help them feel more comfortable talking to you about these topics and can prevent them from feeling ashamed or embarrassed. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Children learn from what they see more than from what we tell them. So, it&rsquo;s important to model self-acceptance and self-love. Avoid speaking negatively about yourself, and practice self-care and self-compassion. Similarly, model behaviour you want to see replicated by your child. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Make sure your child feels safe and supported at home. Encourage open communication and create a space where they feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>To encourage the development of the desired qualities in children, we can treat them as if they already possess those qualities. By expressing our belief in their positive qualities, such as kindness and consideration, we can guide them towards living up to those standards. For instance, when they make mistakes, we can acknowledge their good intentions and help them to understand the impact of their actions, while also empowering them to make amends and grow from the experience. &ldquo;I know you are a really caring person and you wouldn&rsquo;t hurt people on purpose. Let&rsquo;s talk about what just happened.&rdquo; or &ldquo;I know that you didn&rsquo;t intend to hurt your sister&rsquo;s feelings, but that&rsquo;s what happens when mean things are said. How can you put this right?&rdquo; 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>To be effective parents, we need to recognise that the behaviours our children exhibit during their growth and development are often a natural and necessary part of their journey. We should avoid shaming or discouraging them for age-appropriate behaviours like exploring, experimenting, and making mistakes. For example, many girls are shamed for wanting to use make-up in their teens, when in fact that is a completely normal curiosity to have for a teenage girl. It&rsquo;s important to remember that children rarely act out of a desire to disappoint us or cause harm, and they are not inherently &ldquo;bad&rdquo; for doing so. This is the only way they can safely learn and grow. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

Practicing shame-proof parenting is not about being a perfect parent, but about creating a positive and nurturing environment for your child. By focusing on promoting self-acceptance, empathy and positive reinforcement, you can help your child develop a healthy sense of self-worth and self-esteem. And last but not the least: Parenting can be challenging, and it&rsquo;s inevitable that we may sometimes say things impulsively due to our limited patience and calmness. Making occasional mistakes is normal, but it&rsquo;s important to create a culture where children are free to explore and experiment without feeling their worth is questioned. We should avoid crushing their spirit, which may manifest as defiance or curiosity, as it&rsquo;s a crucial aspect of their development into intelligent, creative and remarkable adults in the future.

&nbsp;