Madeeha Syed

How To Stand Up For Yourself - It's A Skill That Can Be Developed

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How To Heal From Grief?

Overview

Grief is a natural reaction to any kind of loss. It&rsquo;s something we all experience, but the way it manifests itself varies from person to person. Some people are able to move on quickly, while others find it harder to heal. In this article I&rsquo;ll explain how the stages of grief work and give some tips on how you can help yourself or a loved one through their grieving process. 
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Tips to Heal From Grief

Denial is a defense mechanism. It&rsquo;s a way to protect yourself from the pain of loss, or at least postpone facing it. You may have heard of denial as something that happens during the grieving process, but this isn&rsquo;t quite accurate. Denial doesn&rsquo;t necessarily kick in once someone has died; it can also be an immediate coping mechanism for people who aren&rsquo;t yet ready to admit their loved one is gone.

Denial helps shield you from the <a href="https://merisehat.pk/article/natural-remedies-for-pain">pain</a> of grief by avoiding reality and hiding from feelings you&rsquo;d rather not experience (such as anger and sadness). 
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Anger is a natural and healthy reaction to loss. Anger can help you express your feelings, release negative emotions and show others that you are upset or hurt by what happened.

However, while it is normal to feel angry after the loss of someone or something close to you, there are some things that should be avoided when expressing anger:

Don&rsquo;t direct your anger at anyone else. You may have some pent-up frustrations with people associated with the loss (e.g., family members or friends), but directing your rage toward them will only make things worse for everyone involved.&nbsp;

Directing your anger inward instead by staying home from work or school can also be harmful because it could prevent you from accomplishing goals (such as getting back into college).&nbsp;

It&rsquo;s best not to let anger boil over into lashing out at others unnecessarily; instead, find other outlets for releasing negative emotion such as yoga classes or therapy sessions with a counsellor who specialises in grief counselling. 
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When you are bargaining, you are essentially trying to make the best of an intolerable situation. You may start thinking that there is something you could have done differently or something that will help save your loved one&rsquo;s life. You might even try to bargain with God or a higher power in order to get them back again.

For example, you might think, &ldquo;If only I had spent more time with my husband before he died!&rdquo;, &ldquo;If only I hadn&rsquo;t taken so long buying groceries!&rdquo; or &ldquo;If only I had remembered to call him earlier!&rdquo;&nbsp;

While these thoughts and feelings aren&rsquo;t necessarily accurate (the reality is that death or breakups happens when they happen), they can still be helpful if they allow you some peace of mind and perspective during this difficult time of grieving. 
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Bargaining can also manifest itself as guilt &mdash; for instance, if someone close dies from an illness but another person survives the same illness, there may be some sense that it should&rsquo;ve been the other way around, even though there&rsquo;s no real reason for this feeling beyond just being human (and overthinking things).&nbsp;

If this sounds like how you&rsquo;re feeling right now &mdash; like maybe there was something else r someone else who could&rsquo;ve helped prevent their death (for example) &mdash; it might be helpful for friends and family members who care about your well-being (or just want their own questions answered) not dismiss these thoughts or feelings outright by saying things like, &ldquo;It wasn&rsquo;t your fault&rdquo; or &ldquo;Of course everything would have been different if only...&rdquo;&nbsp;

Instead, they could take those questions seriously while acknowledging how hard they must be on whoever lost their loved ones without belittling them at all &mdash; because sometimes just recognising how painful it must feel helps us move forward without letting ourselves stay stuck in grief forever.&rdquo; 
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The final stage of grief is sadness and acceptance. The loss of someone leaves you feeling helpless. There will be times when you are too distracted by the world and work to think about it but at times, it is common to have a depressive episode and completely lose your pace or focus.&nbsp;

People who are unable to cope and accept tend to go into depression at this stage and numb themselves towards the outside world. The only way to avoid suffering from this illness is to deal with your loss and come to terms with it mentally. This requires your maximum input as your experience life without the person, the need for acceptance and doing things differently now. The only way is the way forward.&nbsp; 
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The stages of grief are not a checklist, nor are they rules to follow. They aren&rsquo;t even in the same order for everyone.

The five stages &mdash; denial, anger, bargaining, sadness and acceptance &mdash; are merely a general guide to help you understand what your loved one might be experiencing during their time of grieving. However, everyone grieves differently and no two people will go through all five stages at the same time or in the same way. It&rsquo;s important to remember that every person needs different kinds of support during times like these: some may need lots of love and affection as they work through their feelings; others will want space from others so they can take care of themselves first before reaching out for support later on. 
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The most important thing that needs to be acknowledged is that there is no shortcut to coping with grief. You cannot skip the stages. However, you can make it easy for yourself to handle your grief and speed up the process. Following are the steps that are age-old practices employed by people to help them cope:

<ul>
	<li>There are people around you who care about you, lean on them. Share your feelings with your friends and family. Hangout with them more to keep yourself distracted.</li>
	<li>Be acceptable for whatever support you are getting. Not many people know what to say or how to act around someone grieving, appreciate their efforts. They are doing it because they care.</li>
	<li>Religion has been a very strong catalyst for people struggling with grief. If you believe in one, resort to your faith. Praying can be very relaxing for the mind.</li>
	<li>A support group or therapy. Both allows you to talk about your experience, how it has affected you without getting a biased answer from the other side.&nbsp; 
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</ul>

Bottom Line

Grief is a normal part of life and it can be hard to deal with. But remember, there are ways to cope with your feelings and move on from them. If you&rsquo;re struggling with grief or have lost someone close to you, remember that you&rsquo;re not alone. Reach out for help if needed, but don&rsquo;t forget that it may take time before things feel better again!

Umna Salah

The Power Of Self-Esteem: Strategies For Building Confidence In Teens

As teenagers navigate the ups and downs of adolescence, promoting healthy self-esteem and self-confidence can have a profound impact on their overall well-being and success in life. In this article, we&#39;ll explore the importance of healthy self-esteem and self-confidence in teenagers, as well as some effective strategies for promoting these qualities. 
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Importance of Healthy Self-Esteem

Self-esteem and self-confidence are closely related concepts that are essential for healthy adolescent development. Self-esteem refers to an individual&#39;s sense of self-worth, while self-confidence refers to an individual&#39;s belief in their own abilities and potential. Both qualities are essential for healthy adolescent development, as they play a key role in shaping how teenagers view themselves and interact with the world around them.

Healthy self-esteem and self-confidence can impact many different areas of a teenager&#39;s life, including: 
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<ul>
	<li>Academic Performance: Teenagers with healthy self-esteem and self-confidence are more likely to excel in school, as they are better equipped to handle challenges and setbacks. 
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	<li>Social Relationships: Teenagers with healthy self-esteem and self-confidence are more likely to form positive social relationships, as they feel more comfortable in their own skin and are better able to express themselves authentically. 
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	<li>Emotional Well-being: Teenagers with healthy self-esteem and self-confidence are less likely&nbsp;to experience <a href="https://merisehat.pk/disease/depression">depression</a> and <a href="https://merisehat.pk/disease/anxiety">anxiety</a>, as they have a strong sense of self-worth and are better equipped to handle stressors. 
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	<li>Future Success: Teenagers with healthy self-esteem and self-confidence are more likely to pursue their goals and dreams, as they believe in their own abilities and potential. 
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</ul>

As parents, caregivers, and educators, there are many different strategies we can use to promote healthy self-esteem and self-confidence in teenagers. Here are a few effective strategies to consider: 
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<ul>
	<li>Encouraging Positive Self-Talk: The way teenagers talk to themselves can have a big impact on their self-esteem and self-confidence. Encouraging positive self-talk can help them develop a more optimistic and empowered mindset. Encourage your teenager to challenge negative self-talk and replace it with positive affirmations, such as &quot;I am capable&quot; or &quot;I am deserving of love and respect.&quot; 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>Recognizing And Celebrating Achievements: Recognizing and celebrating your teenager&#39;s achievements, no matter how small, can help them build a sense of pride and confidence in their abilities. Whether it&#39;s acing a test, scoring a goal in a sports game, or simply showing kindness to a friend, taking the time to acknowledge and celebrate their successes can have a big impact on their self-esteem. 
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	<li>Encouraging Healthy Risk-Taking: Encouraging your teenager to take healthy risks, such as trying out for a sports team or taking on a challenging academic course, can help them develop a sense of adventure and confidence in their abilities. Encourage them to try new things and support them in their efforts, even if they experience setbacks or failures along the way. 
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	<li>Modeling Positive Self-Esteem And Self-Confidence: As a parent or caregiver, it&#39;s important to model healthy self-esteem and self-confidence for your teenager. This means being kind to yourself, setting healthy boundaries, and showing confidence in your own abilities and potential. By modeling positive self-esteem and self-confidence, you can help your teenager develop these qualities in themselves. 
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	<li>Offering Support And Encouragement: Finally, offering your teenager unconditional love, support, and encouragement can help them feel valued and supported, even during challenging times. Offer a listening ear and a non-judgmental attitude, and let them know that you believe in them and their abilities.</li>
</ul>

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bottom Line

Promoting healthy self-esteem and self-confidence in teenagers is essential for their overall well-being and success in life. By encouraging positive self-talk, recognizing and celebrating achievements, encouraging healthy risk-taking, modeling positive self-esteem and self-confidence, and offering support and encouragement, parents and caregivers can play a powerful role in helping teenagers develop these essential qualities.

As teenagers navigate the challenges of adolescence, it&#39;s important to remember that building healthy self-esteem and self-confidence is a process that takes time and effort. However, by taking a proactive approach and implementing these strategies, parents and caregivers can help their teenagers develop the confidence and resilience they need to succeed in life. With healthy self-esteem and self-confidence, teenagers can overcome obstacles, pursue their goals, and live happy, fulfilling lives.

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Rukhsana Rizwan

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you were being attacked but instead of defending yourself you either go mute or recede back into your cocoon? If this is you, you may lack the very essential life skill of standing up for yourself. We call it an &lsquo;essential&rsquo; skill because it can help you build confidence, establish boundaries and communicate your needs effectively. This will come in handy not just in your interpersonal relationship but your professional life as well. However, we wholeheartedly agree that it&rsquo;s not always as easy as its made out to be and many people struggle with this task. Fortunately, like any other skill, the ability to stand up for yourself can be developed and honed with practice. Here are some steps you can take:&nbsp;

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Standing up for yourself

<ul>
	<li>Know your worth &ndash; One of the most important things you can do to stand up for yourself is to know your worth. This means recognizing your strengths, values and capabilities. When you have a strong sense of self-worth, you are less likely to tolerate mistreatment or disrespect from others. To develop a stronger sense of self-worth, focus on your accomplishments, take care of yourself and surround yourself with positive people who lift you up.</li>
	<li>Set clear boundaries &ndash; Another critical aspect of standing up for yourself is setting clear boundaries. This means defining what you will and will not tolerate from others and communicating those boundaries assertively. For example, if a friend is constantly canceling plans last minute, you might say, &quot;I understand that things come up, but I need you to let me know at least 24 hours in advance if you can&#39;t make it.&quot;</li>
	<li>Use assertive communication &ndash; Assertive communication is a style of communication that allows you to express your thoughts, feelings and needs in a clear, direct and respectful way. This is an essential tool for standing up for yourself because it allows you to communicate your boundaries and expectations effectively. When using assertive communication, make &quot;I&quot; statements, avoid blaming or attacking the other person and be specific about what you want or need.</li>
	<li>Practice self-care &ndash; Taking care of yourself is crucial for standing up for yourself because it helps you maintain your energy, resilience and emotional well-being. Self-care can take many forms, such as exercise, meditation, hobbies or spending time with loved ones. When you prioritize self-care, you are better equipped to handle challenging situations and communicate your needs effectively.</li>
	<li>Seek support &ndash; Standing up for yourself can be challenging and it&#39;s okay to ask for help. Reach out to trusted friends, family members or professionals for support and guidance. They can provide you with valuable feedback, perspective, and encouragement as you work to develop your assertiveness skills. They can also help you practice your skills in a safe environment before you go out into the wild to apply them.&nbsp; 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

Conclusion

Even though it may sound like a tough task and leave you with knots in your stomach, standing up for yourself is a skill that can be developed with practice and effort. Once you realize how much better your life gets when you start setting clear boundaries and safeguarding your personal space you will automatically become better at it as well! The payback is worth the grueling practice of this very important skill. Remember that it takes time and effort to develop any skill, and it&rsquo;s especially true for interpersonal skills as they come with many psychological blocks that we must overcome so be patient and kind to yourself along the way.

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