Explore the impact of unequal division of household labor on women's intimate drives. Meri Sehat provides insights into addressing imbalances for a healthier relationship.

How Unequal Division Of Labour At Home Leads To Lower Sex Drives In Women?

According to more recent studies, women view men who don’t share housework as ‘dependents’ and it ruins their sex drive.

Overview

&nbsp;A new study in Archives of <a href="https://merisehat.pk/article/how-sexual-intimacy-with-their-partner-keeps-women-young">Sexual Behavior</a> validates an open secret: men not pulling their weight in household chores lowers women&rsquo;s sex drive. The study looks at heterosexual couples and identifies heteronormative gender norms as culpable. The study states &ldquo;We provide the first test of the theory that heteronormativity is related to low sexual desire in women partnered with men.&rdquo;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
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Low Sexual Desire

&nbsp;When women experience low sexual desire, it often also impacts their relationships. It leads to decreased sexual pleasure, less frequent sexual activity, reduced emotional <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/relationships" style="text-decoration:none">intimacy</a>, and frustration.

&ldquo;One of the more frequent fights I have with my husband is about having sex,&rdquo; says Sara Tariq, a 28-year-old communications manager based in Karachi. &ldquo;It&rsquo;s not that I don&rsquo;t want to have it. I have needs too. We don&rsquo;t have time in the morning and I&rsquo;m just too tired by the end of the day.&nbsp;

&ldquo;Plus, I don&rsquo;t know how to tell my husband that sometimes, I dont feel attracted towards him,&rdquo; she confesses. &ldquo;I love him very much, but I do resent him for being able to rest and park his backside on the sofa for the rest of the evening while I tire myself out even more doing housework and picking up after him after we get home from work.&rdquo; 
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Unsurprisingly, research shows that relationship satisfaction and female sexual desire are highly correlated with an effect that is bidirectional: Women with low sexual desire often struggle with problems in their relationships, and women struggling in their relationships often find that they lose interest in having sex with their partner.&nbsp;

To date, low sexual desire in women has been studied from angles primarily focused on biological and psychological reasons.&nbsp;

Inequity in intimate relationships can manifest in a multitude of observable ways, including large differences in how much income partners earn, their relative social status, how they divide household labor, and who controls finances. However, more subtle imbalances of power exist, too. For example, inequity in invisible and emotional labor, such as anticipating a partner&rsquo;s or their children&rsquo;s needs, organizing family members&rsquo; activities, and delegating household tasks, can cause significant conflict within couples. The question is, to what extent do these power imbalances impact a woman&rsquo;s desire for sex?

The results supported the hypothesis that women in equal relationships experience greater relationship satisfaction and, in turn, greater sexual desire for their partner than those in unequal relationships.

&ldquo;My husband and I are partners,&rdquo; says 34-year-old Ayesha Ali.&nbsp; &ldquo;We don&rsquo;t let society dictate how we should be. We both work and share in the housework. We support each other. It feels good. We&rsquo;re in tune with each other and of course, we&rsquo;re always emotionally ready to have fun together. I feel really special and taken care of by this man and it helps us &mdash; especially in bed.&rdquo;&nbsp;

Ayesha&rsquo;s experience of marriage is in direct contrast to Sara&rsquo;s. The latter is stuck in performing the traditional gender role of a &lsquo;wife&rsquo; while also being one of the breadwinners.&nbsp;

Given the resentment, fatigue, and stress that relationship inequity can produce, these results make perfect sense. Women commonly identify being physically and cognitively exhausted as a primary reason for not wanting sex. Chronic stress also leads to decreased female sexual desire, as distracting thoughts and rumination can easily kill libido.

In short, women forced to deal with inequitable divisions of labor and unfair power balances feel overburdened, <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/stress" style="text-decoration:none">stressed</a>, and tired, all of which likely contribute to low sexual desire.

Research shows that the tedium of long-term heterosexual relationships likely contributes to low sexual desire in women in a way that far outweighs the impact on that of their male partners. The results of this study suggest that this effect may be due to power imbalances. A woman who has been delegated most of the household and emotional labor over time will likely become exhausted and resentful. Obviously, this is likely to reduce how much she craves sex with a partner who, by comparison, does and cares little.&nbsp;

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Conclusion

Interestingly, the authors anticipated that women in unsatisfying relationships would feel less inclined to be sexual overall and, therefore, would not only feel less in the mood for sex with a partner but less interested in solo sex (<a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/masturbation" style="text-decoration:none">masturbation</a>) as well. Unexpectedly the results demonstrated that solitary desire was not significantly associated with relationship equity or satisfaction. This suggests that female sexual desire is intricate and complex, and that what dampens one of its dimensions doesn&rsquo;t necessarily dampen the others.

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