Madeeha Syed

The proverbial "boys’ night out" is a tradition as old as time. But is it all just boyish fun, or is there an actual benefit to it? This article explores why spending time with friends is good for men’s mental health.

Men’s Need for Bromance

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Men are often spending time with their friends to release stress. Psychology also endorses that enjoying friendships releases happy hormones and improves mental health.

Men’s Need For Bromance

Overview

Friendship is good. It doesn&rsquo;t exactly take hefty research to conclude that yes, for humans as a species, friendships are resoundingly good! We are social animals and connection is the cornerstone of our race. Specifically, intimate relationships, like family and friends, are in particular very essential for both the physical and mental well-being of any person.&nbsp;

Beyond all of this, a &ldquo;boy&rsquo;s night out&rdquo; holds the esteem of its own in social connection. Meeting up after work or school, cracking some jokes around a crooked table in the humid heat, all the while still enjoying a cup of steaming doodh-patti&hellip;

A night out with the guys is truly a retreat from all the stresses that often come with maturity and responsibilities. It&rsquo;s a brief oasis in the harsh desert of work, bills, errands, duties and accountabilities.&nbsp;

But is this seemingly trivial thing such a universal remedy? Or is boy&rsquo;s night out a hyped-up fa&ccedil;ade for an excuse to shirk other tending matters? 
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Perks of a ‘Bromance’

Many studies have proved, from animal models or otherwise, that connection amongst males of all species, including humans, is fundamental for improvement in male health.&nbsp;

The Gottingen study extrapolated that guys in a social group enjoy bonding and spending time together. It showed that even otherwise mundane and routine activities (such as having doodh-patti), when done together with close friends have beneficial effects on male tension levels and serves as a buffer for everyday stressors.&nbsp;

But the association isn&rsquo;t just one-sided &mdash; an animal model study conducted at the University of California posited a similar connection in the opposite direction too, that is, stress increases male bonding!&nbsp; 
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It showed that increased tension caused males in a group to huddle together and find comfort in close groups. This research particularly focused on traumatic conditions, in which brain receptors for many feel-good hormones take a nose dive and thus the mind becomes less responsive to neurotransmitters that may otherwise produce good feelings. It showed that even in such a severely affected state, male-male social connection served to alleviate the suffering of the afflicted. But it isn&rsquo;t just restricted to men alone.&nbsp;

Professionals agree that the emotional well-being of men translates to the well-being of a household; a guy friend can serve the role of a reliable confidante, and prevent either extreme emotional detachment or overt neediness from affecting marital life. Thus, we see how, even scientifically, friendship amongst men and their mental well-being are closely intertwined with each other. Though of course, one could just as easily deduce that from a gaggle of middle-aged men, dress-shirts scuffed out, snorting with laughter at a baithak after work, and see the very tangible feeling of comradery. 
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<h5>The One That Got Away: A Tale Of Unmet Bromance In A Busy Man&rsquo;s Life</h5>

After understanding the well-defined relationship between men&rsquo;s welfare and their connection amongst their close male friends, it becomes incumbent to advocate it. But just knowing what&rsquo;s good for you, isn&rsquo;t enough to act on it. Unfortunately, problems still exist, and many times, the day-to-day professional and personal demands of your average salaryman leave little room for gallivanting around with the guys.&nbsp;

What stands in the way of men being able to connect? A lot of internal and external factors play a role here, and to subvert them, we need to know exactly what they are.

The environment in which men, especially of previous generations, were raised, reinforced, now commonly admonished, stereotypes, of stoicism and emotionlessness. Men were idolised for being as emotionally inert as possible and berated for sincere expression.&nbsp; 
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The male-male connection remained limited to experiences like sports while sitting and sharing something with a guy was unheard of. In this environment, the roots of male bonding found it hard to flourish. This may be why a study conducted on thousands of children, showed that many of the boys were vehemently uncomfortable with the expression of their feelings.

It&rsquo;s not just external influence though, studies have repeatedly postulated that men have inherently different brains. A 2014 study concluded that, due to structural reasons, men find connection more cumbersome than women do.

Finally, a study conducted in the United States by psychiatrists revealed that men often have a difficult time juggling marriage, work, and other interpersonal connections. It showed that often, friendships suffer so that marriage can work and professional aims met.&nbsp;&nbsp; 
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Bottom Line

<h5>Rekindling Your Love For Your Bro</h5>

Armed with the knowledge that hanging out with the guys is good for us, let&rsquo;s see how today&rsquo;s working men can make time to address an ever-increasing detriment in bro-time.

Prioritise staying in touch with your guy friends; it&rsquo;s all about priorities. Be it once a week, once a month, or once a year, remember to take out time for your male friends.

Establish a common activity that everyone enjoys. Be it cricket, carom, ludo, cards, computer games, movies, TV shows, or even a catch-up at your local chai wala, a common pastime that the entire group can enjoy is conducive to frequent and consistent meet-ups! 
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Once you find the people you fit with, understand that it&rsquo;s a privilege and uphold it. Not everyone is lucky enough to naturally come across people they can connect with. If you&rsquo;ve been blessed with companions who&rsquo;ve stuck by you, then do right by them! Meeting up in person isn&rsquo;t necessary all the time, but acts of love go a long way. A call here, a message there, is sure to let your bro know you&rsquo;re there.

And most importantly, be aware and spread awareness. Often time, familial concerns about &lsquo;excessive&rsquo; partying with the boys may seem less than pleasant. Remember, it&rsquo;s important to be mindful. Whether it&rsquo;s the need to politely tell your loved ones that it&rsquo;s important for your well-being, or whether it&rsquo;s realising that you&rsquo;ve probably strayed into the realm of excessiveness, and it&rsquo;s time to cut back and spend some time with the family. A male connection is not mutually exclusive to a happy life with the wife and kids. Quite the contrary, with the latest leading minds&rsquo; asserting that marriage allows greater liberty for men to spend time with their male friends. Be fair to yourself, and those around you.

So, the next time you find yourself tiredly coming back from work, after an hour of driving, head pounding, and existential dread creeping in, maybe drop a message to the guys. That may be just what the <a href="https://merisehat.pk/doctor-now">doctor</a> ordered. Remember, bros before woes.