You know you’re getting old when the candles don’t fit on the cake anymore.

Mid-Life Crisis In Men: What Does It Look Like Now?

Did you know midlife crisis in men also exists? The signs of a midlife crisis in a man appear between the ages of 40 and 64 when he transitions into middle age.

Overview

Middle-aged individuals tend to go through a period where their identity and self-confidence suffer greatly. This is usually between the ages of 30 to 65 years, when these individuals start having to face their growing age as new physical ailments start popping up.&nbsp;

Some feel they have wasted their life so far and it&rsquo;s &lsquo;too late&rsquo; now. There can be a lot of <a href="https://merisehat.pk/disease/anxiety">anxiety</a>, remorse and sadness associated with it which tends to manifest in drastic decisions that don&rsquo;t really make sense for the kind of person they are.&nbsp;

This phenomenon is termed as midlife crisis. It was first coined in 1965 by Elliot Jacques. It tends to last between three to 10 years in men and two to five years in women. But it can even last only a few months in some individuals.&nbsp; 
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Even though it&rsquo;s mainly associated with ageing, there can be many precipitating factors along with ageing, such as a divorce, work troubles, children maturing and leaving the house, a death of a loved one etc.&nbsp;

This, however, is not a clinical diagnosis and is even thought to be a cultural phenomenon limited to western society. Studies have shown that it might not be as common as it was previously thought to be while there is also little evidence of it in other cultures, such as in Indian and Japanese cultures.&nbsp;

Men tend to go through their midlife crisis at the age of 40 and it is usually preceded by a feeling of inadequacy, being unaccomplished or having to face a crisis such as a parent&rsquo;s or a peer&rsquo;s death. It is also very abundantly portrayed in pop-culture where men are seen to pursue younger women, buying expensive things and being in denial about their receding hairline.&nbsp;

In real life, these clues might not always (mostly never) present.&nbsp; 
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Mid-life Crisis

<ul><li>They tend to turn into mopey individuals with more frequent bouts of sadness requiring alone time to process feelings of loss of control, disappointment and self-pity. Other markers of chronic sadness may also be there such as disturbed sleep, over eating or lack of motivation.&nbsp; </li><li>Other than sadness they might have turbulent moods where one minute they are down and next they are ready to party. These rapidly changing moods are usually the first time you will observe these men on an emotional roller-coaster.&nbsp; </li><li>They tend to become complainers who find fault with everything and have a largely pessimistic view of the world. They will nag everyone around them about the tiniest of things and nothing can ever make them happy. At the root of all this is a lack of satisfaction they tend to feel with their own life and self.&nbsp; </li><li>These men also tend to display poor judgement and might make impulsive decisions or purchases. This can be affected by their turbulent moods as well.&nbsp; </li><li>Some men will inevitably end up using substances to cope and deal with the crisis. This can lead to other poor choices such as gambling.&nbsp; </li><li>These men are also highly irritable in all areas of life. You can find them throwing a tantrum at the office and at home and it’s increasingly obvious that everything tends to frustrate them now.&nbsp; </li><li>Some men might also become withdrawn and give up on their relationships and goals. They stop doing the activities they usually keep themselves busy with and go into hermit mode. There is a sense of boredom with the life they have created for themselves so far and want to run away from it. &nbsp; </li><li>An acute and heightened sense of awareness and self-consciousness about their marital, work, health or economic and social status.&nbsp; </li></ul>These midlife crises usually have a peak after which they end and most people come out on the other side better and changed individuals. They tend to become more comfortable with the new normal and make their peace with it. There will be a re prioritising and refocusing of their perspective but they are ready for the challenge and the next phase of life.&nbsp; So how do these lucky ones navigate something so precarious?&nbsp;

How to Cope

<ul><li>Acknowledge that you have these feelings and they tend to be overwhelming enough to lead you into a crisis.&nbsp; </li><li>Let your partner, colleagues and friends know and reach out for help. Chances are they are also feeling the same way and might have some groundbreaking insight. If nothing, you will at least realise you're not alone in this.&nbsp; </li><li>Accept that it’s completely normal to feel this way and it’s the natural progression of life. It’s just another stage in your growth and it too shall pass.&nbsp; </li><li>Try not to make any big decisions by making sure you consult either your partner or a trusted friend/mentor beforehand. This reduces your chances of making any impulsive decisions you might come to regret later.&nbsp; </li><li>Invest in your physical and mental wellbeing. Join a gym or pick up one physical activity that you enjoy doing and stick with it. Being active also makes you feel better emotionally. Meditation and yoga can also help calm down those recurrent feelings of anxiety.&nbsp; </li><li>Embrace the oncoming changes and appreciate the effect of time on circumstance. Recognise that ageing might not be the worst thing in the world and you can still continue to enjoy life in your older age.&nbsp; </li></ul>

Conclusion

The process of ageing can be daunting and life can seem quite overwhelming at any point in time. Some people tend to suffer through these crises earlier in life, which is happening more and more lately thanks to social media and the impending threat of climate change, food and water shortages and the general upheaval in society.&nbsp;People feel they are not only stuck behind while their peers have progressed and achieved so much more in life, but they also think any effort is futile since the world is ending anyway. This is what we call a ‘quarter life crisis’ which looks almost the same as having a mid-life crisis but in your 20s and 30s.&nbsp;In either scenario, taking a step back and looking at the whole forest instead of the trees might help and calm you down. It’s never too late to make any changes or achieve anything.&nbsp; However, if none of these things work it is likely that you're depressed and can benefit from seeking professional help. Although a midlife crisis is not the same as depression, it can still precipitate it.Recognising that with each stage of life there needs to be a readjustment and you’re more than capable of it can be a huge task. You don’t have to accomplish it alone.&nbsp;Another interesting concept to acknowledge here is that some renowned psychologists have deemed a midlife crisis as the process that leads to self-actualisation, the last need on Maslow’s hierarchy. Integrating all your knowledge, intuition, thoughts and feelings into a newer version of you can be daunting and can rightfully lead to a state of crisis. However, there is hope on the other side of it where your identity achieves a much more solid footing.&nbsp;

Mid-Life Crisis In Men: What Does It Look Like Now?

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