Learn non-violent parenting tips for teaching boundaries to your children. Empower your kids with effective strategies for healthy communication and relationships.

Non-Violent Parenting: How To Teach Your Children About Boundaries

Parenthood is essentially about guiding the next generation while you try to forgive the last.

Overview

In the last decade, parenting styles have evolved quite a lot ever since the detrimental effects of an aggressive approach have been revealed. Nowadays, people who previously chose to inherit or model their parenting according to what they went through, are looking for better ways to raise their children.&nbsp;

Many parents now choose &lsquo;soft&rsquo; parenting or &lsquo;gentle&rsquo; parenting which encourages a partnership between the parent and the child instead of the authoritarian approach adopted by previous generations.&nbsp;

This parenting style requires the parent to look at their child as a whole being, have more compassion for their behaviours and welcomes emotional expression. We now know that in order to raise happy, healthy and well-rounded adults, our approach to <a href="https://merisehat.pk/article/how-to-do-shame-proof-parenting">parenting </a>needs a complete overhaul. 
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Non-violent parenting

This is great for the parents as well since healthier ways of disciplining children calls for adults who are also emotionally well-regulated. So, it&rsquo;s essentially a win-win situation. Does this mean we can&rsquo;t discipline our <a href="https://merisehat.pk/article/healthier-ways-of-disciplining-children">children </a>anymore and let them do whatever they want? Certainly not!&nbsp;

You can still go ahead and teach your child boundaries and have a set of rules in place, you can still ground them and give them time outs. How do you do that without turning into a dictator?&nbsp; 
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Here&rsquo;s how:&nbsp;

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	Show them by example what model behaviour looks like. Children are sharp observers and everything they do, they learn it by watching you. If your behaviour is calm and collected, especially in tough situations, it&rsquo;s likely that your child will learn to keep their cool as well.&nbsp;
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	Set clear and concise boundaries and communicate them in a way the child understands. For example, if they aren&rsquo;t allowed to eat candy before bedtime, let them know how it can affect their sleep and overall health. Let them know that rules are there for their own safety.&nbsp;
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	Ensure that your child is aware of the consequences as well if they don&rsquo;t follow the rules. Consequences can be something like taking away their iPad or time in front of the TV for breaking boundaries. It&rsquo;s important to follow through with this as well. However, it&rsquo;s important to remember that these punishments aren&rsquo;t grave such as being denied meals or kind parental attention.
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	Instead of giving commands, invite them to work with you. For example, if you&rsquo;d like them to put their toys away, instead of saying, &ldquo;Put these back in their boxes&rdquo; you can say, &ldquo;Should we put these toys back so no one trips over them?&rdquo; This teaches kids responsibility.&nbsp;
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	If your usually well-behaved child has been breaking certain rules or acting out then instead of becoming accusatory, try to assess what might be bothering them. For example, fight between siblings can stem from jealousy and has nothing to do with how good or bad the child is. Gently ask them what&rsquo;s bothering them and once they let you know you can find the solution together.
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	When your child does exhibit good behaviour make sure to praise them for it since this is one of the fastest ways to ensure they continue to behave well. Children like to please their parents and garner their approval!
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	Keep your child engaged throughout the day with healthy activities be it sports, reading or learning how to paint. Boredom is usually one of the main reasons why kids get into trouble and this way you can avoid that.&nbsp;
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	Time-outs can be a super effective disciplining tool as well. A good rule of thumb is one minute per year of age. Ask the child to take a time-out from the situation at hand, ponder over their actions and find healthier alternatives to their behaviour. All the modelling you have been doing so far can now be implemented by the child. 
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Bottom Line

Children are smart and they pick up on things very fast. If a parent is antagonistic and violent towards them they will learn that rules are suffocating and boundaries are meant to be broken.&nbsp;

However, they do require you, as a parent, to put in place certain rules so they can become healthy and well-adjusted adults. Having a gentle and gracious approach to disciplining children lets the child know that you have their best interest at heart and that you&rsquo;re a secure place they can always return to for guidance.

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