Learn about the four common behaviors that indicate the end of a relationship. Discover how to recognize and address these warning signs before it's too late.

The Four Horsemen That Signal The End Of A Relationship

Have you been having more fights than usual with your partner? You might want to look out for these things.Have you been having more fights than usual with your partner? You might want to look out for these things.

Overview

The end of a relationship can be a tough and painful experience for anyone. It&#39;s important to recognize the signs that indicate the <a href="https://merisehat.pk/article/how-to-rekindle-love-in-long-term-relationships">relationship </a>is on the brink of ending. According to relationship expert John Gottman, there are four behaviors that he calls &quot;The Four Horsemen&quot; that signal the end of a relationship. 
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The Four Horsemen

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	<li>Criticism &ndash; The first horseman is criticism. Criticism is not the same as complaining. It&#39;s attacking your partner&#39;s character or personality, rather than addressing a specific behavior or action. For example, saying &quot;You&#39;re so lazy&quot; is a criticism, whereas saying &quot;I wish you would help out more around the house&quot; is a complaint. Criticism can be damaging to a relationship because it puts your partner on the defensive and makes them feel attacked. It can also be quite unnecessary because instead of finding ways to come together and resolve the issue, you have resorted to personal insults and injury. This can only lead to resentment and distance between partners and eventually you may not want to deal with each other at all. 
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	<li>Defensiveness &ndash; The second horseman is defensiveness. When your partner criticizes you, it&#39;s natural to want to defend yourself. However, defensiveness can be a relationship killer. It blocks communication and prevents any progress from being made. Instead of being defensive, try to listen to your partner&#39;s concerns and take responsibility for your own actions. Don&rsquo;t start blindly advocating for yourself without taking a good look at where your partner may be right and you really do need to make some changes. A relationship can only work out when you&rsquo;re not treating your partner as an enemy who is out to get you. 
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	<li>Contempt &ndash; The third horseman is contempt. Contempt is when you disrespect your partner, either through verbal or non-verbal means. This can include eye-rolling, sarcasm, or name-calling. Contempt is extremely damaging to a relationship because it sends the message that you don&#39;t respect your partner and don&#39;t value their thoughts or feelings. This is especially hurtful when done in public although doing it privately isn&rsquo;t doing your relationship any favors either. Your partner can tell when you actually resent them and are never not ready to put them down for the tiniest of things. 
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	<li>Stonewalling &ndash; This is the fourth. Stonewalling is when one partner withdraws from the conversation or completely shuts down. They may give the silent treatment or refuse to engage in any meaningful conversation. Stonewalling can be a response to feeling overwhelmed or flooded with emotions. However, it can be incredibly damaging to a relationship because it prevents any resolution from being reached. Ofcourse it&rsquo;s healthy if you must take time out to sort your emotions out and come back to have a mature conversation instead of being reactive to your partner. But when you&rsquo;re stonewalling you&rsquo;re indicating that you simply don&rsquo;t care and much rather not resolve the issue that&rsquo;s been concerning your partner. 
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Conclusion

In conclusion, recognizing these four horsemen is crucial in saving a relationship. If you and your partner find yourselves engaging in these behaviors often enough, it&#39;s important to take steps to address them. This can include seeking counseling, practicing better communication skills, and making a conscious effort to show respect and empathy towards your partner. With effort and dedication, it is possible to overcome these negative patterns and create a stronger and healthier relationship. 
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