Madeeha Syed

Uncover the factors shaping workaholic behavior. Dive deep into the making of workaholics at Meri Sehat. Explore the patterns.

The Making Of A Workaholic

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Introduction

Not everyone succumbs to the addictive trap of <a href="https://merisehat.pk/article/overcoming-workaholism">workaholism</a>. So many toxic feelings and emotions underlie or contribute to the making of a workaholic: fear, perfectionism, power, narcissism, and shame are some of those.

A lot of workaholics are people who were forced to &lsquo;grow up&rsquo; and take on adult responsibilities before their time. This could be as a result of growing up in a household with emotionally absent or abusive parents that forced them into caregiving roles much too quickly. This also includes a parent&rsquo;s prolonged illness that forces the future workaholic into a caregiving role, a sudden death in the family, and trying to find stability after the separation of the parents.

Alternatively, he/she could&rsquo;ve grown up in an environment that was dominated by a performance-oriented value system. The child quickly learns that love is conditional upon him/her achieving certain goals or performing a certain way. And, as a result, these children are often the studious high achievers at school &mdash; getting top grades, doing well in sports and being very well behaved. 
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Types Of Workaholics

According to Dr Barabara Killinger, author of Workaholics: The Respectable Addicts, workaholics can be roughly categorised into the following three types:

<ul>
	<li>The Pleaser: This one isn&rsquo;t as harmless as it sounds. This is someone who finds it very difficult to say no and will go to great lengths to achieve praise and accolades in the workplace. They are desperate to be admired. They are also very passive aggressive because they find it very hard to take ownership of any emotions or actions that may be perceived by others as being &ldquo;negative.&rdquo; 
	Their persona is carefully constructed and their personal boundaries are terribly blurred. These individuals are seriously repressed and only want to accept or acknowledge their more &ldquo;positive&rdquo; qualities. They also tend to project their insecurities and perceived faults onto others. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>The Controller: These individuals love feeling like they have a handle on everything. They are usually very intense and can come across as arrogant but can also be quite charming and witty. In the workplace, they can also appear very sociable. On the flipside they can also be very demanding and come across as &ldquo;strong thinkers&rdquo;. 
	They are very comfortable in the workplace where goals are clearly defined, and are not so great at maintaining personal connections and relationships. Most of their relationships are work-related. 
	&nbsp;</li>
	<li>The Narcissistic Controller: These are the most difficult type of workaholics. The Narcissistic Controller absolutely must be right. They have tunnel vision where they can only see their own perspective and it is always correct. These individuals are highly manipulative and have no regard for the consequences of their actions, as long as they get what they want. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

Understanding the traps and workings of workaholism requires more than just one article. The unholy trinity of qualities that keeps workaholics hooked &mdash; need for power, control and living in absolute denial &mdash; is a toxic combination and one of the main reasons why workaholics are unable to see themselves for who they really are. They are unable to protect themselves from harmful personality changes that eventually lead to them losing their integrity and engaging in shady conduct. 
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Bottom Line

Workaholism is a harmful addiction that permeates through every aspect of a person&rsquo;s life. People don&rsquo;t set out to become workaholics. These are fractured individuals who seek validation through their work but ultimately end up harming themselves even more. What they need is compassion and help before they end up destroying themselves completely. 
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