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Why Am I So Angry?

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How To Heal From Grief?

Overview

Grief is a natural reaction to any kind of loss. It&rsquo;s something we all experience, but the way it manifests itself varies from person to person. Some people are able to move on quickly, while others find it harder to heal. In this article I&rsquo;ll explain how the stages of grief work and give some tips on how you can help yourself or a loved one through their grieving process. 
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Tips to Heal From Grief

Denial is a defense mechanism. It&rsquo;s a way to protect yourself from the pain of loss, or at least postpone facing it. You may have heard of denial as something that happens during the grieving process, but this isn&rsquo;t quite accurate. Denial doesn&rsquo;t necessarily kick in once someone has died; it can also be an immediate coping mechanism for people who aren&rsquo;t yet ready to admit their loved one is gone.

Denial helps shield you from the <a href="https://merisehat.pk/article/natural-remedies-for-pain">pain</a> of grief by avoiding reality and hiding from feelings you&rsquo;d rather not experience (such as anger and sadness). 
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Anger is a natural and healthy reaction to loss. Anger can help you express your feelings, release negative emotions and show others that you are upset or hurt by what happened.

However, while it is normal to feel angry after the loss of someone or something close to you, there are some things that should be avoided when expressing anger:

Don&rsquo;t direct your anger at anyone else. You may have some pent-up frustrations with people associated with the loss (e.g., family members or friends), but directing your rage toward them will only make things worse for everyone involved.&nbsp;

Directing your anger inward instead by staying home from work or school can also be harmful because it could prevent you from accomplishing goals (such as getting back into college).&nbsp;

It&rsquo;s best not to let anger boil over into lashing out at others unnecessarily; instead, find other outlets for releasing negative emotion such as yoga classes or therapy sessions with a counsellor who specialises in grief counselling. 
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When you are bargaining, you are essentially trying to make the best of an intolerable situation. You may start thinking that there is something you could have done differently or something that will help save your loved one&rsquo;s life. You might even try to bargain with God or a higher power in order to get them back again.

For example, you might think, &ldquo;If only I had spent more time with my husband before he died!&rdquo;, &ldquo;If only I hadn&rsquo;t taken so long buying groceries!&rdquo; or &ldquo;If only I had remembered to call him earlier!&rdquo;&nbsp;

While these thoughts and feelings aren&rsquo;t necessarily accurate (the reality is that death or breakups happens when they happen), they can still be helpful if they allow you some peace of mind and perspective during this difficult time of grieving. 
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Bargaining can also manifest itself as guilt &mdash; for instance, if someone close dies from an illness but another person survives the same illness, there may be some sense that it should&rsquo;ve been the other way around, even though there&rsquo;s no real reason for this feeling beyond just being human (and overthinking things).&nbsp;

If this sounds like how you&rsquo;re feeling right now &mdash; like maybe there was something else r someone else who could&rsquo;ve helped prevent their death (for example) &mdash; it might be helpful for friends and family members who care about your well-being (or just want their own questions answered) not dismiss these thoughts or feelings outright by saying things like, &ldquo;It wasn&rsquo;t your fault&rdquo; or &ldquo;Of course everything would have been different if only...&rdquo;&nbsp;

Instead, they could take those questions seriously while acknowledging how hard they must be on whoever lost their loved ones without belittling them at all &mdash; because sometimes just recognising how painful it must feel helps us move forward without letting ourselves stay stuck in grief forever.&rdquo; 
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The final stage of grief is sadness and acceptance. The loss of someone leaves you feeling helpless. There will be times when you are too distracted by the world and work to think about it but at times, it is common to have a depressive episode and completely lose your pace or focus.&nbsp;

People who are unable to cope and accept tend to go into depression at this stage and numb themselves towards the outside world. The only way to avoid suffering from this illness is to deal with your loss and come to terms with it mentally. This requires your maximum input as your experience life without the person, the need for acceptance and doing things differently now. The only way is the way forward.&nbsp; 
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The stages of grief are not a checklist, nor are they rules to follow. They aren&rsquo;t even in the same order for everyone.

The five stages &mdash; denial, anger, bargaining, sadness and acceptance &mdash; are merely a general guide to help you understand what your loved one might be experiencing during their time of grieving. However, everyone grieves differently and no two people will go through all five stages at the same time or in the same way. It&rsquo;s important to remember that every person needs different kinds of support during times like these: some may need lots of love and affection as they work through their feelings; others will want space from others so they can take care of themselves first before reaching out for support later on. 
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The most important thing that needs to be acknowledged is that there is no shortcut to coping with grief. You cannot skip the stages. However, you can make it easy for yourself to handle your grief and speed up the process. Following are the steps that are age-old practices employed by people to help them cope:

<ul>
	<li>There are people around you who care about you, lean on them. Share your feelings with your friends and family. Hangout with them more to keep yourself distracted.</li>
	<li>Be acceptable for whatever support you are getting. Not many people know what to say or how to act around someone grieving, appreciate their efforts. They are doing it because they care.</li>
	<li>Religion has been a very strong catalyst for people struggling with grief. If you believe in one, resort to your faith. Praying can be very relaxing for the mind.</li>
	<li>A support group or therapy. Both allows you to talk about your experience, how it has affected you without getting a biased answer from the other side.&nbsp; 
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</ul>

Bottom Line

Grief is a normal part of life and it can be hard to deal with. But remember, there are ways to cope with your feelings and move on from them. If you&rsquo;re struggling with grief or have lost someone close to you, remember that you&rsquo;re not alone. Reach out for help if needed, but don&rsquo;t forget that it may take time before things feel better again!

Umna Salah

&ldquo;Everyone is just so annoying, it infuriates me&rdquo;, said Menal Bano on a fine Tuesday.

Having spent over two decades in <a href="https://merisehat.pk/article/commitment-and-managing-anger-essential-skills-for-a-stable-romantic">anger</a> and believing that other people are to be blamed, we are not too different from Menal. How many times have we stopped and reflected upon ourselves that maybe the entire world is not at fault but the problem could be within ourselves?

There are many reasons why some people may experience anger all the time. Anger is a natural emotion that can arise in response to a variety of different situations and stimuli, including stress, frustration, disappointment, fear, and feelings of injustice or unfairness. 
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Some people may be more prone to experiencing anger due to factors such as genetics, personality traits, or past experiences of trauma or abuse. In some cases, chronic anger may be a symptom of an underlying mental health condition, such as anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Additionally, certain lifestyle factors, such as a lack of sleep, poor nutrition, or chronic stress, can also contribute to feelings of anger and irritability.

It&#39;s important to note that while anger is a normal and healthy emotion, chronic anger can have negative consequences for both physical and mental health, and can negatively impact relationships and daily functioning. If you or someone you know is experiencing chronic anger, it may be helpful to speak with a mental health professional, who can provide guidance and support in managing anger and developing healthier coping strategies. 
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Ancestral Trauma

On-going oppression and ancestral trauma can have a significant impact on mental health and emotional well-being, and may contribute to chronic anger and other negative emotions. Oppression and trauma can create feelings of powerlessness, helplessness, and hopelessness, and can lead to a sense of injustice and anger towards the system that perpetuates these injustices.

Ancestral trauma refers to the transgenerational transmission of trauma and stress responses from one generation to the next. Studies have shown that exposure to trauma can lead to changes in the brain and nervous system that can be passed down from one generation to the next, affecting the emotional and behavioral responses of descendants. 
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For individuals who experience ongoing oppression or who have a history of ancestral trauma, anger may be a natural response to feelings of injustice and powerlessness. Chronic anger can manifest in a variety of ways, including irritability, mood swings, explosive outbursts, and physical symptoms such as increased heart rate and blood pressure.

Chronic anger can have negative consequences for both physical and mental health, and can negatively impact relationships and daily functioning. It may be helpful for individuals who are experiencing ongoing oppression or ancestral trauma to seek support from mental health professionals who can provide guidance and support in managing anger and developing healthy coping strategies. Additionally, it is important to work towards addressing systemic oppression and advocating for social justice to help alleviate the root causes of anger and injusticE. 
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Stress can be a significant contributor to feelings of anger, especially when stress levels are chronically high. When the body is under stress, it releases stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline, which can trigger the fight-or-flight response and increase feelings of tension, anxiety, and irritability.

Chronic stress can lead to a state of heightened arousal and hyper-vigilance, which can make individuals more prone to anger and frustration. Additionally, chronic stress can lead to feelings of overwhelm and a sense of being out of control, which can also contribute to feelings of anger and irritability.

Stress is known to negatively impact sleep, nutrition, and other lifestyle factors, which can further exacerbate feelings of anger and irritability. Additionally, the social and environmental factors that often accompany stress, such as financial difficulties or relationship problems, can also contribute to feelings of anger and frustration. 
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Conclusion

It&#39;s important to note that while anger is a normal and healthy emotion, chronic anger can have negative consequences for both physical and mental health, and can negatively impact relationships and daily functioning. If you are experiencing chronic anger due to stress, it may be helpful to speak with a mental health professional, who can provide guidance and support in managing stress and developing healthier coping strategies. 
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