Learn how couples can cope with miscarriage, offering emotional support and practical advice on Meri Sehat. Find healing together.

A Couple’s Guide To Coping With Miscarriage

Overview

Miscarriage, the spontaneous loss of a pregnancy before the 20th week, can be a devastating experience for any couple. It affects not only the woman but also her partner, creating a shared grief that can be difficult to navigate. 
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Understanding Miscarriage

Nobody wants to talk about the elephant in the room, but addressing it can be a step towards healing. How can you move on if you still consider talking about&nbsp; miscarriage a taboo, a difficult subject, or your partner&rsquo;s &ldquo;fault&rdquo;?

Like all things health-related, miscarriage is simply another possibility for healthy, fertile individuals. Unfortunate, yes, but it is more common than many people realize, affecting about 10-20% of known pregnancies.<a href="#accordion">[1]</a> 
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<ul>
	<li>
	<h5>Symptoms Of Miscarriage</h5>
	</li>
</ul>

These include, but are not limited to, pain or cramping in the lower back or pelvic region, a fast heartbeat, spotting or vaginal bleeding with or without pain, and the passing of fluid or tissue from the vagina.<a href="#accordion">[1]</a> 
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<ul>
	<li>
	<h5>What Causes Miscarriage</h5>
	</li>
</ul>

Genetic factors, usually the chromosomal abnormalities in the embryo, account for at least 50% of miscarriages, making them the most common cause.<a href="#accordion">[2]</a>

Common causes of recurrent miscarriage include age, lifestyle choices, and certain underlying health conditions.

Understanding these factors is important; it helps you make informed decisions about your health and future pregnancies. 
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Miscarriage is a devastating experience. There are no two opinions on this. A loss is a loss.

You&rsquo;re in love, happily married, and you want your family to grow. It may be even more overwhelming when you&rsquo;ve been trying for a baby for a long time. 
&nbsp;

The emotional toll of a miscarriage strains even the strongest relationships. Both partners feel a range of emotions, including grief, guilt, and anger, as they:

<ul>
	<li>Mourn the loss of their baby and the future they envisioned</li>
	<li>Wonder if something they did or didn&rsquo;t do caused the miscarriage</li>
	<li>Feel helpless and out of control</li>
</ul>

They may feel isolated and alone in their experience, particularly if they haven&rsquo;t shared the pregnancy news widely. 
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Here&rsquo;s what you need to do for your partners:

<ul>
	<li>Share your feelings and listen to them without judgment.</li>
	<li>Understand that grief can come in waves. It may affect you both differently and last for different periods. Respect each other&rsquo;s grieving process, allowing them to grieve in their own way and time without pressuring them to move on or grieve in a particular way. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

It should be mentioned here that both men and women need to recognize that their partner may grieve differently. While one may want to talk about the loss, the other might prefer to keep busy or avoid the topic. Open communication and mutual respect are crucial during this time.

<ul>
	<li>Seek support from loved ones, but also prioritize professional help. Couples counseling can provide a safe space to express emotions and work through grief. Support groups can connect you with others who have experienced similar losses. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

For Practical Support:

<ul>
	<li>Manage daily tasks together. Divide household chores and errands to reduce stress.</li>
	<li>Consider taking some time off work to focus on healing.</li>
	<li>Attend medical appointments together. Most women need a few weeks to recover completely physically. Discuss treatment options and follow-up care as a team for proper healing. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

Being present and supporting a loved one through a miscarriage can be challenging. How do you approach the situation with sensitivity and empathy?

<ul>
	<li>Let them know you are there for them, whether they need to talk, cry, or sit in silence.</li>
	<li>Avoid minimizing the loss. Phrases like &ldquo;It wasn&rsquo;t meant to be&rdquo; or &ldquo;We can try again&rdquo; can feel dismissive. Especially for a woman who has experienced her fetus die as she bleeds.</li>
	<li>Grief doesn&rsquo;t follow a timeline. The process isn&rsquo;t an easy one, irrespective of whether the couple chooses a wait-and-see approach or medical or surgical management for the miscarriage. Continue to offer support in the weeks and months following the miscarriage. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

Important!

Don&rsquo;t ignore your own needs. You can only be there for your partner if you focus on yourself, too. Practice self-care, such as engaging in hobbies, meditating, and exercising, to recover emotionally. You can talk about your hopes and plans for future pregnancies when you feel ready. 
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The emotional impact of a miscarriage can sometimes lead to depression or anxiety. Signs indicating need for professional help include:

<ul>
	<li>Persistent Sadness &ndash; Grief continues for an extended period without improvement</li>
	<li>Difficulty Functioning &ndash; Struggling to maintain relationships or perform daily tasks</li>
	<li>Physical Symptoms &ndash; Experiencing changes in appetite, sleep, or energy levels</li>
</ul>

Encourage seeking help from a mental health professional who specializes in grief and loss. 
&nbsp;

The appropriate time to return to work varies for each individual. Some may need several weeks, while others may feel ready after a few days.

Discuss with your doctor and employer to determine a suitable plan, potentially including a phased return. Many employers offer leave for miscarriage recovery. Understanding your rights and options can help you manage this period effectively.

You can gradually resume daily activities based on your comfort level once you&rsquo;re back. But prioritize rest and avoid strenuous tasks initially. 
&nbsp;

While not all miscarriages can be prevented, certain lifestyle changes can improve your chances of a healthy pregnancy:

<ul>
	<li>Eat a variety of nutrient-dense foods, including fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins.</li>
	<li>Prenatal vitamins for adequate intake of essential nutrients, like folic acid and calcium, reduce the risk of neural tube defects and miscarriage.</li>
	<li>Stay well-hydrated.</li>
	<li>Engage in moderate exercise, such as walking or swimming, to maintain a healthy weight. Obesity can increase the risk of pregnancy complications, including miscarriage. Women with a healthy BMI (18.5-24.9) have a lower risk of miscarriage.</li>
	<li>Quit smoking and avoid illicit drugs before and<a href="https://merisehat.pk/disease/navigating-pregnancy-concerns-with-free-online-doctors-in-pakistan"> during pregnancy</a>.</li>
	<li>Limit caffeine consumption to less than 200 mg.</li>
	<li>Regular checkups and consultations with your healthcare provider are necessary to manage conditions like diabetes, <a href="https://merisehat.pk/disease/hypertension">hypertension</a>, <a href="https://merisehat.pk/disease/hypothyroidism">thyroid disorders</a>, and infections. 
	&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

<ul>
	<li>Does stress cause miscarriage?</li>
</ul>

This is actually a myth. While extreme or chronic stress does affect overall health, everyday stress is not a direct cause of miscarriage

<ul>
	<li>Should you avoid exercise during pregnancy?</li>
</ul>

Moderate exercise is safe and beneficial during pregnancy. However, you should avoid high-impact activities and contact sports.

<ul>
	<li>Will you have a miscarriage due to previous use of&nbsp; birth control?</li>
</ul>

There is no evidence that prior use of birth control pills increases the risk of miscarriage.

<ul>
	<li>What medical treatments are available after a miscarriage?</li>
</ul>

Procedures like dilation and curettage (D&amp;C) may be necessary in certain cases to remove tissue and prevent infection. Additionally, your doctor may prescribe medications like misoprostol to help expel pregnancy tissue.

<ul>
	<li>Is exercise safe after a miscarriage?</li>
</ul>

Gentle activities like walking, yoga, and stretching are generally safe. Gradually returning to more intense workouts should be discussed with a healthcare provider.

<ul>
	<li>How long should you wait before trying again?</li>
</ul>

The WHO recommends waiting at least 6 months before trying to conceive again. However, some doctors suggest waiting 3 months.<a href="#accordion">[3]</a> Ultimately, the decision should be based on your physical recovery and emotional readiness. 
&nbsp;

A miscarriage is not the end. Even if it feels like one. You can be over 35, trying for another baby, and, with hearts racing with joy and fear, enjoy a healthy delivery, too. 
&nbsp;

<ul>
	<li>
	<h5>Preconception Check-Up</h5>
	</li>
</ul>

A preconception visit will allow your doctor to review your medical history and conduct necessary tests to ensure all goes well. 
&nbsp;

<ul>
	<li>
	<h5>Nutritional Guidance</h5>
	</li>
</ul>

Adopting a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins supports overall health and prepares the body for pregnancy. Iron-rich foods (e.g., lean meats, beans, and spinach) can especially help replenish blood loss from previous miscarriages. 
&nbsp;

<ul>
	<li>
	<h5>Mental Health Support</h5>
	</li>
</ul>

If you still have any lingering emotional issues, you can address them with the help of a therapist to prepare you for a future pregnancy. 
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Conclusion

Navigating miscarriage as a couple requires patience, understanding, and mutual support. By communicating openly, seeking professional help when needed, and taking practical steps to support each other, you can emerge from this challenging experience stronger and more connected. Remember, every couple&#39;s journey is unique, and it&#39;s essential to find a path that works best for both of you. 
&nbsp;

Key Takeaways

<ul>
	<li>Recognize that both of you may grieve differently and at different paces. Be aware of and respect each other&#39;s coping mechanisms and needs.</li>
	<li>Open and honest communication is essential for mutual support and understanding.</li>
	<li>Offer empathy and validate each other&#39;s feelings. Avoid placing blame or making insensitive comments.</li>
	<li>Be present and available to listen without trying to fix the situation immediately.</li>
	<li>Consider couples counseling to help you navigate the emotional challenges with your partner. Join support groups for individuals and couples who have experienced miscarriage.</li>
	<li>Follow medical advice for physical recovery and take time to heal. Offer practical support, such as handling household tasks or scheduling time off work.</li>
	<li>Engage in activities that promote emotional well-being, such as mindfulness or gentle exercise.</li>
	<li>Discuss and agree on when to try for another pregnancy, if desired. Seek preconception counseling to address any medical or emotional concerns before attempting to conceive again.</li>
	<li>Decide together how to handle questions or comments from family, friends, and colleagues. Lean on trusted friends and family members for extra emotional support.</li>
	<li>Gradually resume daily tasks and work, ensuring not to overexert physically or emotionally.</li>
</ul>

[1] Miscarriage. Mayo Clinic. September 8, 2023. Accessed July 9, 2024.

[2] Marqui ABT de. Chromosomal abnormalities in recurrent miscarriages by conventional karyotyping analysis. Revista Brasileira de Saúde Materno Infantil. Accessed July 9, 2024.